FSDP Families Matter l Family Matters Relapse Trilogy: April 2020 Dee-Dee Stout, MA

relapse recovery word cloud

Relapse/Relapse Prevention: Part 1 of 3
For the Problematic Drug User

Relapse. It’s THE most scary word in addiction treatment, one that we all get nauseous when we hear it, because we all worry about the return of problematic drug use (recurrences/relapse) especially during times of stress for our loved ones with a history of substance use disorders[1]. And right now, we’re in the most stressful time we’ve ever seen. The other word we talk about a lot now when discussing problem drug use and recovery is “connectedness.[2]”  We know it’s one of (if not THE) most important ingredients to successful recovery of any kind and mental wellness for humans. So how the heck do we “connect” and otherwise avoid “relapse” during the worse pandemic our modern world has seen?  And “herein lies the rub,” as Shakespeare (sort of) famously said!

First off, let’s start with a definition of “relapse”.  Many professionals have suggested that we stop using this word as it’s pretty meaningless and very confusing but let’s look at what it typically means. Relapse has been used as a term within addiction treatment for a long time.  Ironically, for a country who claims to see addiction as a disease, we don’t discuss “relapse” in any other medical care:  we usually use the term “recurrence.”  Think diabetes care or cancer, two conditions that are often used for comparison for the disease model of addiction.  We don’t say someone relapsed in/on cancer or diabetes, right?  We might say the condition has reappeared, or there’s a recurrence of the condition or symptoms.  So how did this word get used for this other “disease?”  That’s actually up for some debate as it doesn’t appear to have been first used by the medical community which was originally thought.  Rather, it seems to have come

[1] https://www.drugabuse.gov/about-nida/noras-blog/2020/03/covid-19-potential-implications-individuals-substance-use-disorders

[2] There are many sources for this but here’s one terrific one re: well being in general:  http://ccare.stanford.edu/uncategorized/connectedness-health-the-science-of-social-connection-infographic/

from the moral community during the Temperance Movement.  My background is in Relapse Prevention.  I studied with Terence Gorski[1] and ran many groups on this topic (for Kaiser as well as other hospitals and treatment providers) over the years and my private practice was first called “Relapse Prevention Systems”.  In the mid-1990’s, I even did my Master’s project on Relapse Prevention which is how I became acquainted with the foremost authority on relapse prevention and the author of the first book on the subject, Relapse Prevention[2], the late Dr. G. Alan Marlatt.  Another famous American researcher on addictions, Dr. William Miller (developer and co-author of Motivational Interviewing[3]) also spent a great deal of his career looking at this phenomena[4].  What these men found is truly fascinating and likely shocking to some.  Two predictors appear to highly influence whether a client returns to old behaviors:

  • A lack of coping skills
  • A belief in the disease concept of alcoholism (emphasis mine)  

Wow.  Surprised by that last one?  Many of us were – and still are frankly (and I’ll write more on relapse prevention in research specifically another time).  Now today we might add “a lack of connectedness” as one of those coping skills a client (that includes all family members remember) might be lacking.  Professionally, we’ve done a pretty good job of helping clients to learn coping skills.  Every rehab or treatment agency I know of has some group or class in coping skills training. But perhaps we’re missing something here.  During a private conversation I had years ago with Dr. Marlatt, we discussed what might still be missing in relapse prevention as people in treatment typically have at least one recurrence of their old habit/behavior in their long-term recovery/change if not more.  He said he believed it was likely this (paraphrasing due to my memory of the exact quote): “We’ve done a great job of teaching coping skills to folks.  What we haven’t done such a great job of is helping folks learn how to pick up those skills when they need them.”  In fact, at the time I recall we hypothesized that Motivational Interviewing might be a helpful bridge to this skill of picking up one’s coping skills v picking up the drug!

How about the physical side of relapse? Let’s look at cravings for drugs for a moment.  In some ways, you can think of cravings for drugs as a symptom of distress and certainly of withdrawal from drugs (I’ll assume we can all relate to the feelings of sudden distress especially right now).  Gorski calls these symptoms “Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome”[5] or PAWS.  I came to recognize this “constellation of symptoms,” as we call any group of symptoms, as basic symptoms of nearly all generalized distress/anxiety symptoms – and even as symptoms of trauma*:

  • inability to think clearly
  • memory problems
  • emotional overreactions or numbness
  • sleep disturbances
  • physical coordination problems
  • stress sensitivity

This makes sense since you could certainly think of detoxifying from any drug as a state of distress, and not just of the body but also of the mind and one’s world (bio-psycho-social).  Hmm…

*To the other family members:  you too have PAWS!  We’ll talk more about your symptoms and recurring behaviors/habits as well as what you can do to ‘HHALLT’[6] your own less healthy behaviors and turn your reactions into responses.

So much of recovering one’s life – or building a new one – is about new behaviors, which is definitely where a lot of the distress comes from.  The conversations we hear in our heads often goes like this:  Can I make these changes?  Will I ever have a life I can be proud of?  Will I find work again? Will people find me boring/will I be bored?  What will people think of me if they discover I’m a former drug addict (whatever term you’d like to use here)? Who will I be without drugs like alcohol?  How will I ever have fun again? I remember saying all these things and more many, many times.

social distance queue at drugstore

Right now we’re practicing social distancing which is completely necessary to protect us all.  And at some point we’ll be back to our more usual social events though perhaps we’ll never be quite so nonchalant about things such as hugging strangers and even shaking hands will folks without quickly handwashing or using sanitizer.  The world is likely to be different from here on which means the world for those of us recovering from problematic drug use is going to be too.

How exactly will this affect those of us in recovery?  That remains to be seen.  I had a brief call with a young client today who’s currently in rehab.  He complained that they can’t attend 12 Step meetings right now which is what he knows he needs to stay away from using drugs:  not necessarily the Steps but definitely being connected to others.  And he’s not even a little bit interested in using video platforms.  So, what will folks like him do?  Hopefully not get a good case of the “fuckits” (we’ll discuss this more later in the series).  Gratefully many of us in the professional world have been providing telephonic sessions or using video platforms to provide services and many of our clients are comfortable with the technology.  But it is a change for many on ‘both sides of the couch’.  I’ve found more clients willing to use these platforms at least for now.  But for those professionals and our clients who can’t see a steady diet of using technology instead of live meetings of all kinds, we need to stay at home, go out only to get groceries or necessary products, and vow to make this as short and safe a “sheltering” as possible.

And if you, like my client, are already in treatment or a family member is, you all may be the lucky ones right now:  there’s no cooking/food concerns; no wondering where you’ll  sleep; no need to work right now; and you have people around you to connect with at any time.  For others who are wondering how to keep their behavior change changed?  We’re just going to have to adjust for now.  For some folks that may mean not trying to stop or reduce their drug use right now.  In those cases, I would suggest using “best practices” for whatever drug (including alcohol of course) you may be using (some online resources can be found in this footnote[7]).  There’s a lot of information to be found online and many of us professionals are offering free brief support services to provide a bit of information or listen/talk as needed to support someone in need.  Some other ways to chill the distress?  How about learning or practicing more regular meditation (which has been found to be beneficial with just 15 minutes of daily practice!)[8]?  Or how about taking a free course online?  Try Coursera, The Great Courses Plus, or Open Culture for free University courses online. Or an exercise class?  My daughter-in-law did an online dance class in LA recently and said several thousand people were online!!  AA has always offered telephonic support (I did the overnight shift for several years once a month) and all support groups now have something available online (see the footnotes for some information to get you started). And finally, nutritional health is extremely important right now! (here’s a link to a recent study on nutrition and anxiety to get you started[9]) And think of it this way?  In an online class of any kind, you can be anyone you want and never have to say a word!  There are benefits to being online – real anonymity!

daisies reaching up to sun

Finally, if you can, reach out to others.  There are still some ways to do this safely for many of us and helping others helps us feel connected and improves self-esteem[10].  So if you’re healthy and able, consider working or volunteering to pick up meals or groceries for folks (check with your local food banks, shelters, Uber/Lyft, and more). Most of us can still go outside and walk which I’m encouraging all my clients who are able to do so.  Walking around the block may not be quite as interesting as being at the seashore, or in the mountain trails or deserts but maybe you’ll find a new appreciation for your ‘hood:  smell the flowers (yes, Spring has come in spite of COVID19), wave at neighbors (keep that 6’ distance of course) and check out your local businesses to support in some way, both now and later.  Beauty is truly everywhere if we look for it.

staying safe

So, stay safe and sane during this time and find novel ways to connect.  Stay informed though take breaks from whatever news you watch/listen/read.  Find an old friend to say hello to – or make some new ones online.  Or just binge your favorite shows!  My family and I are going to have a meal together this week via FaceTime:  we’re going to cook in our separate kitchens and then sit down together to chat about what’s happening in our lives that isn’t virus connected.  We’ve even considered picking a topic to help us stay on track of something interesting or fun and not just complaining!  Whatever you do, do it with a splash of humor and lightness. We CAN do hard things and – this too will pass.

Cheers!

Dee-Dee

Reach me at deedeestoutconsulting@gmail.com or www.deedeestoutconsulting.com

Stay tuned for Part 2:  Relapse & Other Family Members & Part 3: Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes, coming soon!!

[1] https://www.cenaps.com/

[2] Relapse Prevention, Second Edition: Maintenance Strategies in the Treatment of Addictive Behaviors 2nd Edition.  Marlatt, GA & Donovan, DM. (2007).  The Guilford Press.

[3] Motivational Interviewing, Third Edition: Helping People Change (2013).  Miller & Rollnick.  The Guilford Press.

[4]This is just one link to an article on RP by Dr. Miller. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1046/j.1360-0443.91.12s1.6.x

[5] https://www.facebook.com/GorskiRecovery/posts/post-acute-withdrawal-syndrome-what-you-need-to-knowby-terence-t-gorskipost-acut/202822603165503/

[6] Borrowing from a 1980’s addiction treatment mnemonic, HALT, one of my RP groups & I lengthened HALT into HHALLT:  Pay attention to these intense feelings: Hunger, Hurt, Anger, Loneliness, Lust, or being too Tired.

[7] These are just a few FREE online services: https://hams.cc/support/ support for abstinence, moderation, drugs including alcohol; https://erowid.org/ for info on psychedelics; www.moderation.org ; https://www.smartrecovery.org/; http://aa-intergroup.org/; https://anypositivechange.org/resources/ for resources on safer drug use. Also for anxiety/depression, check out my former TA/colleague Jeremy Prillwitz’ group at therapy@leoralerba.com .

[8] Here’s 2 studies but there are others:  https://www.psypost.org/2019/06/study-15-minutes-of-meditation-associated-with-similar-effects-as-a-day-of-vacation-53798; https://www.psypost.org/2020/03/daily-meditation-decreases-anxiety-and-improves-cognitive-functioning-in-new-meditators-after-8-weeks-56198

[9] https://www.psypost.org/2015/01/diet-nutrition-essential-mental-health-31312

[10] Here’s one resource for this information but there are many:  https://umatter.princeton.edu/respect/tools/self-esteem

Families Matter/Family Matters February 2020 Blog Dee-Dee Stout, MA

Families Matter/Family Matters February 2020 Edition!

Welcome to the February 2020 edition of Family Matters – Families Matter, our new blog authored and curated by FSDP’s Guest Blogger–pioneering harm reduction therapist, educator, advocate and author Dee-Dee Stout.

Capture

Good enough.  I don’t know about all of you, but I stopped making New Year’s resolutions years ago.  For me at least, they seemed just another way that I was saying to myself, “you’re not good enough”.  And of course, we know how poor the outcomes are for those resolutions: according to one survey, only 8% of us follow through and successfully complete out resolutions[1]. Ouch!  However, this doesn’t mean I don’t have goals, or as I’m calling them now “a direction I’m headed right now.”  Yes, it’s more cumbersome but it lands better on me.  So what direction am I headed in 2020?  The Land of Good Enough.  And I’m not talking only in actions but mostly about getting OK with being “good enough” in all areas of my life.  This may not sound very challenging but it sure is to me – and apparently also to several others with whom I’ve mentioned this topic.  And why is that?  Well, that’s part of what we’re going to explore in this New Decade’s Family Matters/Families Matter blog.

2020 is perched on a precipice of many important as well as disastrous moments in our lives:  climate crises (now occurring horribly in Australia as I write this); elections including the Presidential this fall; racial & faith killings; further drug use crises & legalizations of (more) psychedelics; the coronavirus outbreak, and more.  So how does this concept of “good enough” help us through these and other challenges?  Let’s find out together.

I can’t recall when or where I first heard the phrase “good enough” but I’m pretty certain it was in something I was reading related to parenting.  The general idea was that we are all unable to be perfect parents so perhaps embracing the concept of simply being “good enough” would be a positive move.  Think of this as “harm reduction parenting”! Somehow, the author seemed to be saying, we need to let go of the need to be perfect parents as this is utterly unattainable anyhow.  So what if we looked at that in relation to other areas of or lives too?  Perhaps it’s due to my age now but I’m exhausted from trying to please everyone else:  parents, children, students, even clients sometimes.  And I don’t mean to suggest that embracing “good enough” means I am giving up on gaining new skills or learning.  Not at all.  To me, accepting I am “good enough” is the only way to make change.  It was the brilliant psychotherapist and theorist Carl Rogers who said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.[2]

This is true of us in recovery especially.  If I can only see what needs to change, I will get overwhelmed at the huge task in front of me.  That will likely lead me to feel more stressed out which will likely lead me to increase my use of those old habits/behaviors that are causing me & others pain.  It’s a vicious cycle.  Where I think we get terribly confused is in the word “acceptance”.  We seem to think that if we accept where we or someone else is, it means I agree with the behavior, that somehow I’m saying, “sure keep on doing what you’re doing; it’s ok with me!”  Nothing could be further from the truth.  The truth is we humans aren’t terribly adept at holding two competing ideas at the same time, what some consider to be the definition of “critical thinking.”

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. – F. Scott Fitzgerald

heart

I’m working with a family right now (the parents and the son) who’s oldest son has struggled with chaotic drug use for some time.  After hundreds of thousands of dollars spent, numerous types of treatment (some truly terrible, they now understand) and countless hours with me, things seemed to be in a pretty good place.  Then the bottom fell out:  he overdosed.  Thanks to Narcan, he is alive. Things went well again for a brief period and then again, his drug use got out of control.

In another family, the son did well this semester only to suddenly drop out this semester.  The had tried a new therapy and was really hopeful even after more trials of medications than either of us can count in the past 5 years.  But now, with yet another “failed” attempt, his depression has returned.

These are familiar stories to most of the families I work with and hear from, but also from their loved ones chaotically using substances.  It’s tempting to get angry and frustrated, or to even want to quit trying (me too as I’m also human!).  But what we really all need to focus more deeply on in scenarios such as these is that we’re all doing the best we can in some pretty awful circumstances.  And we definitely need to have more compassion for each other, along with some ‘radical acceptance’ of the reality of all our unique circumstances.

“Believing that something is wrong with us is a deep and tenacious suffering,” according to the book jacket of Tara Brach’s remarkable book, “Radical Acceptance.”  She goes on to discuss the trap of our habits that often occurs, calling it “the trance of unworthiness.” I love that idea:  I’m in a trance and that’s why I’m having such a hard time making a change!  And after all, if I’m not worthy of change, why should I bother?  I know that’s how I felt during my 2 decades of troubled drug use.  And I had lots of people around me in their own trance unable to see me as anything but a damn drug addict.   It wasn’t until I had people who deeply believed in me and my ability to make change – and managed to get my own tiny amount of acceptance of where I was – that I was able to begin to recover from a lifetime of pain.  It wasn’t quick nor without pain but I wasn’t alone and I had purpose in my life again.  So how do we start this practice of self-acceptance?  There are several ways of course and I encourage you to seek one or more that feels good to you.  One that I’ve just become aware of and use myself as well as with clients is something fairly new called “Mindful Self-Compassion.[3]

“Mindful Self-Compassion” is a way to “[learn] to embrace yourself and your imperfections [and] gives you the resilience needed to thrive.”[4]  Why do so many of us have such a difficult time loving ourselves?  I suspect much of this comes from our false belief that loving oneself means thinking we’re perfect or better than others.  Or perhaps it comes from the seemingly nearly universal idea that if we’re loving ourselves, we’re self-centered or selfish.  Nothing could be further from the truth!  Self-compassion, according to Neff & Germer, has none of these traits.  And in fact, they argue that if we can’t learn to love ourselves compassionately, we also can’t do so for others.  It’s also just good for us: “Individuals who are more self-compassionate tend to have greater happiness, life satisfaction, and motivation, better relationships and physical health, and less anxiety and depression.  They also have the resilience needed to cope with stressful life events such as divorce, health crises, academic failure, even combat trauma.”[5]  We don’t have the research yet but I’d say it’s safe to assume that cultivating mindful self-compassion would also lead to better parenting and possibly even reduce the need for medicating ourselves so much (for me the term “medication” includes prescription drugs as well as illegal substances used problematically).

breathe

So how does this translate in relationships to others?  Neff & Germer believe that there are “2 types of relational pain:  connection, when…people we love are suffering, and disconnection, when we experience loss of rejection and feel hurt, angry or alone.”[6]  They believe that we are each responsible in part for each other’s emotional states, which they call “emotional contagion.”  This of course flies right in the face of those of us taught that we are ONLY responsible for our own emotions and NEVER for others (they are responsible for their own feelings).  Perhaps we got that one wrong?  In the meantime, let me share with you my favorite brief meditation that I’ve used for more than 20 years.  It is in the lovingkindness tradition so fits with our discussion of Mindful Self-Compassion and can be used as way to take a “Self-Compassion Break”[7] the next time you find yourself upset with someone, including yourself:

With your eyes open or closed, in any position you are in though sitting is generally thought best (but I use this walking & even while driving).  Repeat the phrase below 3 times and between those repetitions, breathe deeply in through your nose (holding briefly) and exhale through your mouth.

[8]May I be filled with lovingkindness

May I be well

May I be peaceful and at ease

May I be happy*

(*A suggested substitution here if you find “happy” to be too uncomfortable or challenging right now, use the word “kind to myself.”)

lovewhoyouare

Now I’m not going to suggest that these ideas of radical acceptance and mindful self-compassion are easy for most of us to attain.  I’m constantly practicing these concepts.  But I do best when I’m able to accept where I am and appreciate that I’m doing the best I can right now:  sometimes that’s great and other times, I struggle frankly.  What I’ve learned in my 6-decades plus of life is that I’m not alone and if I keep actively working on these notions of mindfulness and self-acceptance/compassion, I am able to feel like I really am “good enough” some days.  And that’s definitely a positive change.  That also seems like a “good enough” place to begin for this New Decade.  Join me.

 

Happy 2020!

DD

deedeestoutconsutling@gmail.com

www.deedeestoutconsulting.com

 

 

All images courtesy of unsplash.com

[1] https://finance.yahoo.com/news/many-people-actually-stick-resolutions-214812821.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAIQ_LjZjZKDh5IS6cLk99vcJy7ccHqZ-nekHQEYlSjWWoodJzCrPYCVy7agi8zV5u3IVgQg5iPY6qFzA1hSTjukhnAktz9jeKj0oyFWxWJfYMsEuBzoxmTPGK-BcMOcyR-AkIAEtkDnCed8TB99shKGMRrvI94ZXibZZpXhG20n8.  Accessed 1.23.2020.

[2] From “Radical Acceptance” by Tara Brach. Bantam Dell, 2003. P24.

[3] “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook”.  Kristin Neff, PhD & Christopher Germer, PhD.  The Guilford Press, NY.  2018.

[4] Ibid. p1.

[5] Ibid.

[6] Ibid. p130.

[7] Ibid. p34.

[8] From “A Path with Heart” by Jack Kornfield. Bantam Books, 1993. Jack Kornfield is the co-founder of Spirit Rock in Marin County, CA. www.spiritrock.org.

Join Us In Montclair, NJ For Family Drug Support Meet-Up!

Wednesday December 18, 2019
Family Drug Support Meet-Up 7PM-8:30

Park Street Academy
46 Park St, Montclair, New Jersey 07042

Family Drug Support (FDS), USA is a project of Families for Sensible Drug Policy, (FSDP), a 501(c) (3) global coalition of families, professionals, and organizations representing the voice of the family impacted by substance use and the harms of existing drug policies. We empower families by educating and advocating for a new paradigm of comprehensive care and progressive solutions for family support based on science, compassion, public health and human rights. We are committed to regaining control of our families’ health by collaborating with our stakeholders to advance comprehensive public health approaches, best healthcare practices, reality-based education and family-friendly drug policy reform. Successfully established by Tony Trimingham in Australia since 1999, Family Drug Support brings to the United States a innovative, non-judgmental, peer-led model of family support. FDS bridges a much needed gap, moving away from “tough love” and “one size fits all” while encouraging families through non-directive self-empowerment to recognize their family journey as unique. http://fsdpfamilies.libsyn.com/episode-1-tony-trimingham-family-drug-support

FDS is for:

People with family members impacted by substance use.
Mental health professionals and advocates who work with families in active drug use.
People who would like to consider a paradigm shift away from zero tolerance policies to embrace harm reduction approaches informed by public health.

FDS highlights:

The important role of promoting greater inclusion of family members in the decision making process for families experiencing problematic drug use. Reducing fatal and non¬fatal overdoses from drugs including pharmaceuticals. Promoting the widespread availability of naloxone. Promoting greater support and resources for treatment services for those who want it and need it.

*Please email carol@fsdp.org to RESERVE YOUR SPOT NOW or CALL 973-567-8034 for more information! Light snacks and refreshments will be served! Free parking available!

STAY TUNED FOR MORE ANNOUNCEMENTS NATIONWIDE!

A Milestone for FSDP: Family Drug Support USA, a Step Forward for Families Impacted by Substance Use.

E9EBF66E-DF9E-4FAE-A784-24EFD7AB8B2AA long-awaited milestone for Families for Sensible Drug Policy of bringing a new paradigm of support for families impacted by substance use occurred last month when Tony Trimingham, founder of Australia’s Family Drug Support, came to the United States and trained our first group of family members and professionals from across the United States at a sold-out workshop in Family Drug Support USA.

Family Drug Support USA, co-hosted by our friends at the Center for Optimal Living in New York City, is a program of innovative non-judgmental, peer-led support groups with solutions and strategies that encourage self-empowerment by recognizing each family as unique. It will provide our families with an opportunity to access much needed community support and connection based on what families need, expect and experience. This model of support helps families better understand and strengthen the connection between ourselves and loved ones who use substances.

We were humbled by the interest of the attendees in learning the model and impressed with their passion and brilliance in their shared experiences. Family members and advocates from diverse communities attended the training to bring the groups home, planting seeds of harm reduction and hope.  It was a remarkable weekend, tangible evidence of our mission to bring communities together to embrace enlightened drug policy–empowering families, restoring health and saving lives.

The workshop was in two parts: On Friday night was “Support The Family Improve The Outcome”, an introduction to the Family Drug Support model providing an in-depth overview including harm reduction tools and coping strategies. Saturday and Sunday was a two-day intensive training, which afforded participants an opportunity to work directly with Tony in an experiential workshop learning specific skills using harm reduction principles and the psychological approach of motivational interviewing to deliver support to those in need.

Families have a vital role in the development and resolution of how substance use impacts their home—for far too long our families have not been afforded the opportunity to engage as active participants and problem-solvers.

IFDSD 2018 main image-page-001

Our commitment to making the family voice heard will continue on February 24 as we bring communities together to commemorate International Family Drug Support Day, (IFDSD) a global event which aims to highlight the need for families impacted by substance use to not only be recognized and heard, but to be supported and encouraged to speak about their concerns and needs in drug policy.

To learn more about what you can do for IFDSD, please…

FSDP Brings Australia’s Family Drug Support Model to the United States

Our families have a vital role in the development and resolution of how substance use impacts their home—for far too long our families have not been afforded the opportunity to engage as active participants and problem-solvers.50556292_2514971128519511_2200632244790362112_o

Last weekend, January 11 to 13, 2019, presented an exciting opportunity for Families for Sensible Drug Policy and the Center for Optimal Living to embrace a new paradigm of support for families impacted by substance use when we welcomed the founder of Australia’s Family Drug Support Tony Trimingham, who led a sold-out weekend workshop training for attendees from across the US in the Family Drug Support model. Family Drug Support USA brings  innovative non-judgmental, peer-led support groups with solutions and strategies that encourage self-empowerment by recognizing each family as unique.

50767670_2514977328518891_849438153398812672_o

The workshop was in two parts: On Friday night was “Support The Family Improve The Outcome”, an introduction to the Family Drug Support model providing an in-depth overview including harm reduction tools and coping strategies.Saturday and Sunday was a two-day intensive training, which afforded participants an opportunity to work directly with Tony in an experiential workshop learning specific skills using harm reduction principles and the psychological approach of motivational interviewing to deliver support to those in need.
50463165_2514972238519400_1803922097232150528_o

This long awaited milestone for FSDP will provide our families with an opportunity to  access much needed community support and connection based on what families need, expect and experience. This model of support helps families better understand and strengthen the connection between ourselves and loved ones who use substances. The peer-led support groups present viable alternatives for families to explore potential solutions and coping strategies.

Our commitment to making the family voice heard will continue on February 24 as we bring communities together to commemorate International FamilyDrug Support Day,  a global event which aims to highlight the need for families impacted by substance use to not only be recognized and heard, but to be supported and encouraged to speak about their concerns and needs in drug policy.

50303827_2514978361852121_8070260557254492160_o

Holy Holidays, Batman!…Or Ten Ways to Get Through the Holidays

HandDonate

PLEASE SUPPORT OUR FAMILIES!

Welcome to our Holiday Special Blog, the December 2018 edition of Family Matters – Families Matter, our new blog authored and curated by FSDP’s Guest Blogger–pioneering harm reduction therapist, educator, advocate and author Dee-Dee Stout.

This month, Dee Dee, in her own inimitable style, shares some essential tips to navigate the holiday season in empowering ways…

To join our growing community of enlightened friends and advocates sign up here now.

Hello all! Here we are at the end of 2018 – and of my blogs for this year! Thank you all for your support and your readership! I have truly appreciated all the comments and shares over these past few months. And I’ve discovered just how much I love to do research on these topics!

In the past five months we’ve talked about the dangers and origins of Tough Love; recovering the word “recovery;” and Harm Reduction strategies for families. I know I promised 12 “Ways to Get Through the Holidays” but you know, I found myself doing only 10, perfect for counting on both hands! I hope you won’t be too disappointed. Most importantly, remember our 2018 take away for all families and their loved ones through this sometimes treacherous time:

It really is all about the love – and love is never tough!

love tree

So, who knows what the new year will bring. I know I’m eager to see 2019 and I haven’t felt that way in a long time. For the New Year, what ideas and suggestions do you have for new topics and conversations? Please write to me at deedeestoutconsulting@gmail.com and let me know. See you all next year!

Holy Holidays, Batman!

element5-digital-462736-unsplash

Xmas trees

Holidays. I love them and hate them.

And regardless of which camp you fall into – or perhaps you’re in the “in between” camp – the winter holidays can be a challenge to navigate, especially when there’s added drug use (yes, I mean that tasty eggnog or rum punch too) by many involved. As I sit here with all my research and ideas in front of me, it occurs to me that I can’t think of anything to add to an incredible list of “do’s and don’ts” already available all over the internet and social media.

But that said, perhaps it’s worth revisiting some ideas with a “reduction-of-harm-to-all” bent – and so here goes (OK to sing your fave holiday tune along to these 10 tips, too. Ho ho ho!).

1. Eat light

One of the best tips we can use is to save those heavy conversations for another time. Sure, there will be exceptions to this, but the holidays are already such a heavy meal in so many ways that experts suggest benching the Big Convos until after things have settled down, including our stomachs. So what’s one thing we can do to lighten the mood?

Perhaps we can simply focus on the positives this season and save the less positives for later. That’s a tip for all seasons according to CMC’s 20 Minute Guides for Parents & Partners. What do we mean by this? Think of finding positive things – called “reinforcers” – to say to your loved ones – family, friends, and those using drugs problematically. And here’s why: “The value in reinforcing positive behavior…is that it can start to compete with the reinforcing effects of drugs and alcohol. In essence, your [loved one] can learn to “feel good” in other ways rather than using drugs/alcohol.”[1]

John Gottman, the famous couples therapist, has stated that we need a “magic ratio” of 5 positive statements for every 1 that we make to someone. Dr. Gottman and his team successfully predicted divorce with 94% accuracy in 700 couples 10 years after scoring their negative-to-positive responses in one 15-minute conversation.[2] That’s pretty darned “magic” indeed. We see similar results in workplace conversations as well. So lighten up on the negatives and accentuate the positive statements this holiday season. You might see a greater gift than you ever expected

2. Hang out in the bathroom

This is something I suggest to those trying to reduce or eliminate their drug use as a place to be alone and use a quick meditation. (side note:  I realize that for some this can also be a triggering place for both families and their loved ones using drugs so like all good suggestions, please use your discretion as to whether any of these are right for you). But this is also a terrific exercise for anyone to use for a quick fix. This exercise is known as “The Ball and Triangle.”[3] I learned it from the developer, Terry Gorski, back in the 90’s. And it can be done anywhere, with your eyes open or closed. Here it is:

To start, take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth, like a big sigh. Now imagine there’s an equal-sided triangle floating in space in front of you. In one corner of the triangle there’s a small ball, just sitting. On your next inhale, move the ball up the side of the triangle. On your exhale, allow the ball to fall back into its original place. Do this until you feel as relaxed as you desire.

There are many ways to get creative with this brief meditation too so feel free to experiment; make it your own.

3. Just like real estate: it’s all about location, location, location

One thing that I hear from families and their loved ones is that the location of the festivities is important. Some places encourage nostalgia though may also bring up tension. It may be helpful to discuss the location of events with the whole family. See how everyone feels. I have found with my own family that eating out at a local restaurant can be wonderful: a) everyone’s food intolerances can be honored; b) most folks will be on their best behavior when in public and finally c) no one has to do the dishes! Perhaps grandma’s or dad’s special chocolate pecan pie at Aunt Cristina’s house can be an alternative.

4. BYOB: Bring your own bottles

Even if you’re not the one with the drinking/other drug problem, it might be a good idea to limit your intake. The very best way to do this is to first, bring your own fave beverage. I’m a big fan of Pellegrino so typically carry a couple of bottles with me (I even bring a baggie of lime slices). That way I know what will be served. If you’re moderating your drinking especially, it’s really important not to get dehydrated which is easy to do in a heated room with booze. So experts suggest drinking water between alcoholic beverages. Again, an easy way to reduce your intake – and possible help stave off a nasty hangover too. Be sure to eat something as drinking on an empty stomach is never advised. Also food will help to absorb some of the alcohol which will keep your overall blood alcohol levels down. Finally since alcohol is known as a “social lubricant” for good reason, you might consider who you’d like to be in charge of your emotional state during this event (see # on Lizard Brain). But if you want to indulge more than usual, remember the previous tips and to call Lyft this holiday season. It’s so easy not to drive while intoxicated now – and expensive to get caught.

pup and mistletoe

5. Find support where you can

Hug your pet. See old friends. Go to a meeting at a support group, or a service at your local synagogue, church, temple, or mosque. Volunteer and make new friends. Lots of ways today to stay in touch with others even if only through social media. Visit someone in a nursing home or senior housing. Take a plate of cookies to a neighbor you’ve never met because you’re working all the time (no, they don’t have to be homemade).

6. Like a good photograph, mind your exposure.

If you’re spending time with those that irritate you, do so gently. It’s OK to limit the time you’re with those you love. This is your holiday, too.

7. Rest when you can

For many of us, the holidays are an expenditure of more energy. Sometimes more than we can muster! So resting and sleeping well are crucial to having the outcomes we want. You can think of rest as our body’s need to regenerate its resources to allow us to think before we eat, act, or wind up somewhere we didn’t want to go. I’ve learned that I can’t engage my mind when it’s running on empty, which leaves me with Lizard Brain[4] in control. Now I’m OK with old Lizard Brain having some fun once in a while but not all the time and especially not when I’m going to be in an emotionally challenging situation

8. Cravings aren’t just for drug users

Yes, you heard me right! I like to think of cravings as the body’s way to say “Holy crap, Batman, I need something – help!” The difference for families is that there aren’t any medications for your cravings (and yes I know there aren’t meds for all chemical cravings too but let’s ignore that for now). You may have physical or emotional cravings for all sorts of things from food to the latest mystery to taking a ski weekend in Banff. Whatever it is, it’s just possible that your body/mind is trying to tell you something. We want to learn from our emotions and not be afraid of them or ignore them. We all know the holidays are overfilled with stress so perhaps we can take a page from relapse prevention for drug users and learn to “urge surf”. Here’s how to do it[5]. And you can keep your eyes open or closed them as you find most comfortable:

First, think of something in your real life that’s challenging for you, something that actually triggers some strong emotions (be gentle with yourself here though. Nothing too tender please!). As you think about this challenging behavior or event, imagine that you’re NOT reacting in the moment with that usual strong emotion (you’ll be responding to the situation soon). As you’re thinking about this event, be mindful of where you’re sitting: how does it feel? Are you comfortable? Plant your feet gently and firmly on the floor if you’re sitting. Let your breath gently come in and out of your nose and notice the rising and falling of your chest/lungs. Now once again, think about the triggering circumstance. Really see yourself there at the moment and bring yourself right up to the moment that you’d typically lose your temper, or be overcome with sadness, or even use a drug/take a drink. Here we might think it’s a good idea to push away these strong emotions or swing the opposite way and give in to the emotion/behavior. Instead, I’m going to ask you to just be curious about this emotion and event without reaction. Ask yourself these questions: 1) what does the feeling really “feel” like? Where is it located in your body? 2) what about this situation/feeling feels intolerable? Can you stay with it and relax into it rather than get overwhelmed by the situation/feeling? 3) what is it you really need right now?

Finally, imagine that the feeling your experiencing is a wave on an ocean. You’re riding this wave like a surfer, using your breath as your surfboard. All you need to do right now is focus on your breath going in and out of your lungs and imagine that surfboard riding the waves like Bethany Hamilton! You’re able to keep your balance in spite of feeling a little frightened. Up and down, in and out, you’re riding your board; you’re not allowing the wave to push you off. This is “urge surfing”.

When you begin to feel relaxed and able to respond instead of reacting to a situation or feeling, you can let the board bring you home. Notice how you were able to ride the wave and not succumb to its power but rather allow it to be what it is: just a wave…and it will end. When you’re ready, come on back to the room while you let go of the triggering situation you were thinking of. Take a few deep cleansing breaths and know that you’ve got this! Bethany would be proud!free hugs

 

9. Ho, ho, ho!

I always encourage humor and lots of laughter during the winter holidays (actually I encourage it all the time!). Laugh till your face hurts. Be silly as often as possible. I read a piece recently on a family holding an “Ugly Christmas Sweater” contest with the winner getting a gift card to a favorite store. Wonderful idea! We humans are a pretty funny lot all in all and this is the perfect time of year to embrace that.

Movies are another great way to bring laughter into a room and there are some terrific old and newer holiday films that will make you pee your pants (in my family, it’s “A Christmas Story” hands down!).   Anything from “The Grinch” and “Charlie Brown Christmas” to “Bad Santa” and “Die Hard” are considered holiday fair game. Or perhaps you’re the sentimental type and look forward to watching your favorite heart-wrenching, tear-jerker each holiday. No problem! Those films are available as well (anyone for “It’s a Wonderful Life” or “White Christmas?”). Just be sure to temper those tears with some belly laughs

10 The holidays are a trip!

And they are literally for many of us! Traveling these days can be a trial-by-fire experience. Some quick tips: 1) Only use a carry-on bag 2) Bring something to read/watch/play and 3) slow down on imbibing early (planes really suck the moisture out of every part of us and alcohol makes it worse). For more excellent tips on everything “travel” this holiday season, check out Cheap Flights Survival Guide: www.cheapflights.com/news/holiday-season-travel-survival-guide

Bottom line for the season: Do your best, let go of the guilt/shame, and have as much fun as possible. That sounds like a pretty good recipe for 2019 to me, too. In fact, I think I’ve just found my 2019 New Year’s resolution. How about you?

chinese lanterns

[1] The Parent’s 20 Minute Guide by CMC: Center for Motivation & Change. (2016) Center for Motivation & Change. NY, NY. p93.

[2] https://www.ocde.us/PBIS/Documents/Articles/Positive+$!26+Negative+Ratio.pdf. Accessed 12.18.2018.

[3] https://terrygorski.com/2014/05/08/magic-triangle-relaxation-method/. Note: the Ball and Triangle exercise is now called the Magic Triangle Relaxation Method. Accessed 12.18.2018.

[4] The limbic system aka Lizard Brain is the seat of our emotions and the oldest known part of our brains.

[5] Bowen, S, Chawla, N. & Marlatt, G. (2011) Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention for Addictive Behaviors: A Clinician’s Guide. Guilford Press. NY, NY.

Introducing “FSDP Presents”: A Podcast Brought to You By Our New Partners at The Social Exchange!

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FSPD is excited to announce our partnership with The Social Exchange, a brainchild of the brilliant Zach Rhoads and Aaron Ferguson.

26233524_10103289292747830_6908264666812993265_oThe Social Exchange interviews the world’s leading intellectuals about a variety of social topics: addiction, social science, philosophy, and many more.  Zach is a masterful interviewer and through their podcasts they offer listeners cutting-edge information about each topic.

What’s refreshing and unique is that there is no rule that the conversations are agreeable or comfortable. However, each conversation is guided by an honest, information-seeking style of dialectic. On The Social Exchange, ideas are challenged, people are respected.

As part of the partnership, FSDP will have the opportunity each month to select an FSDP community member to be interviewed on the podcast on a segment called” FSDP Presents”. We’re proud to have Glen Carner, Licensed Mental Health Counselor  from Hawaii as the inaugural podcast guest. Glen has a paradigm-shifting outpatient addiction counseling program, Family and Addiction Counseling LLC  that uses a collaborative harm reduction approach that coordinates care for his clients with relevant community supports whenever possible. As you’ll hear in the podcast, he blends his expertise with unbounding enthusiasm and a passion to work with individuals and families impacted by substance use.

You can hear the podcast here and learn more about Zach’s work with The Social Exchange on their Patreon page here.

NEXT UP ON “FSDP PRESENTS”: Kenneth Anderson, a pioneer of alcohol harm reduction and Founder of the HAMS Network: Harm Reduction, Abstinence, and Moderation Support.

Harm Reduction for Families: Communicating With Love

Adding to our Fall series, welcome to the November 2018 edition of Family Matters – Families Matter, our new blog authored and curated by FSDP’s Guest Blogger–pioneering harm reduction therapist, educator, advocate and author Dee-Dee Stout.

This month, Dee Dee shares her unique perspectives on harm reduction’s influence on family communication

To learn more about how your family can join our growing community of enlightened friends and advocates sign up here now.

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Communication.

This is a huge topic which I can only hope to touch on here. But I hope that I can offer some suggestions, look for some possible answers from you all (families) and see what we know in science now.

For more than fifty years, we professionals have made (still make??) terrible mistakes in our advice about communicating with loved ones who use drugs: DON’T BOTHER! We said things like, “All addicts are liars” and “They must hit bottom” and “You need to use tough love with addicts”. We called you all names: codependent, enabler, co-addict/alcoholic. Now don’t misread me here: we’re discussing a family which is a system.

To use the favored metaphor from famed American educator and author, John Bradshaw[1], “families are like mobiles: touch one side of a mobile and the entire piece shifts.” This means all family members must participate in changing in order for change(s) to actually happen. Bradshaw, [2] (who also coined the terms “dysfunctional family” and “inner child”, and some believe ushered in the self-help movement of the 1980’s) used to call the problem a “dis-EASE” with the world. I think that is still one of the best definitions of addiction we have. And it speaks to the trauma that all too often accompanies addiction/drug use. More on that in the future.

So, what does communication in a harm reduction world look like? Here’s an example from Patt Denning and Jeannie Little’s book, Over the Influence[3]:

“You can love your child and kick her out of the house. You can kick her out of the house and pay her rent somewhere else. In these ways you can continue to love and support her and limit the damage she can do to your marriage, your house, and your other kids. In other words, you can make changes in your relationship with your loved one way before you are completely worn out. In fact you should.”

A second example is from the Center for Motivation and Change’s (CMC) booklet, “The Parent’s 20 Minute Guide”[4] (they use the term “parent” to mean any caregiver). In the section titled “Helping with Understanding”, CMC makes the point that the behaviors your child is engaged in (i.e., using drugs) make sense and we parents need to appreciate that relationship that our loved ones have with substances even as we struggle to understand it. Wow, huh? This can be a tough request but here’s why it’s crucial to Communicating with Love:

“Feeling relaxed, exhilarated, less anxious, braver, funnier, and part of the group, are all potential benefits of using substances. If there were no benefits, there would be no use.” (emphasis mine)

This is enormously important for families to understand. Without this acknowledgement, little communication with love can happen. We need to remember that our loved ones’ actions have more to do with their personal reasons for using (the reinforcers) than us. This knowledge can help us to not take our loved ones’ actions so personally and to start to see the reasons for the substance use: loneliness, boredom, social/fitting in, anxiety, trauma, and more. The CMC 20 Minute Guide goes on to say,

“Understanding what your child gets from using can also lower your fear and anxiety, as it makes the behavior less random and more predictable. If he uses to fit in with other kids, then you know he’s more at risk when he’s out socializing than home with the family.”[5]

With this information in hand, strategies can be launched with your loved one and everyone can be invited to brainstorm options when your loved one is faced with potentially triggering social situations.

The Guide also has worksheets, such as the one titled, “Behaviors Make Sense”[6] which is designed for the parents to complete based on their understanding of their loved ones’ reasons for using drugs. I would suggest that these worksheets might be even more effective if completed with your loved one. That way you’re not left guessing about the relationship your loved one has with substances. It also allows for further exploratory conversations to better understand your loved ones substance use (it’s also possible that your loved one isn’t sure of all the reasons they use drugs; this openness to conversation could allow them time to consider why they use a substance(s)).

Denning and Little also provide some excellent guiding concepts for families to use, calling them “Harm Reduction Principles for Family and Friends:”[7]

  1. Promises only cause problems
  2. There are no rules except the ones you make
  3. You cannot enable drug use (unless you are supplying them)
  4. Base your actions on your values
  5. Base your actions on what you can manage
  6. You have triggers too
  7. Any limits you set are about you

I would add a couple of others:

8) Everyone’s doing the best they can so be kind/gentle with yourselves – and with your loved one (it may seem like your loved one cares more for drugs than for you right now but I doubt that’s really true)

9) You probably can’t solve this problem, but you can make it better or worse

10) For change to be successful for your loved one, you must also change

So perhaps now you’re thinking, “OK Dee-Dee, this is all great but is there some research to tell us how to communicate with love?” Yes there is!

CRAFT. Community Reinforcement Approach and Family Training[8], developed by Robert Meyers, PhD (Research Associate Professor Emeritus in Psychology at the University of New Mexico’s Center on Alcoholism, Substance Abuse and Addiction) is an answer. Bob Meyers (full disclosure: I have been trained by Dr. Meyers in CRAFT) came to the field of addiction through his own family’s problems with substance use. He became convinced that there could be a better way to interact with loved ones using substances and focused his research on finding some answers to this lifelong idea. Taking Dr. Nathan Azrin’s Community Reinforcement Approach (CRA) and combining it with his own brand of Family Training, Dr. Meyers developed CRAFT, now an evidence-based therapy.

CRAFT is unique in addiction counseling in many ways. One of the most important, in my opinion, is its focus on “catching people who use drugs doing something ‘right’”. In other words, instead of the main focus being on punishment for misbehavior, CRAFT encourages us to focus on the times when your loved one isn’t engaging in the ‘misbehavior.’ It also supports the idea that drug use (especially problem drug use) doesn’t happen in a vacuum: it happens within a system and all parts of the system must change.

Too often the drug user is seen as the Identified Patient (or Problem aka the IP) and taken off to treatment to make changes which we’re often led to believe will solve all the family problems. However, if the system she is in doesn’t also make changes, how do we expect her changes to be maintained? This is what’s called “magical thinking” (which has sadly been perpetuated too often in my profession); it’s also a set up for failure. All too often treatment does fail[9] too regardless of how much she wants to make a change(s).

Down under, Tony Trimingham, founder of Family Drug Support (FDS Australia), shares some similar ideas in his “Letter to Family and Friends.”:

“When we expect immediate changes and refuse to be with the person during the process we undermine the very goal we seek to accomplish.” [10]

I want to stop here for a moment to reflect on things that I’m suggesting families can do differently – I want to emphasize that I am NOT pointing these things out in order to lay blame. Never. Are there things we could’ve/should’ve done differently as families with loved ones who love drugs? Absolutely. Does that mean we are to blame/responsible for the drug use? Not likely. But we are part of the overall system – and therefore we must be willing to look at our part in the creation of that system of dis-ease we are all in squarely in the face.

After all, isn’t that what we ask people who use drugs to do in treatment? What I’m saying is that when there’s a complicated, possibly chronic condition in the family, it affects everyone, therefore, the solution(s) has to involve everyone. Gratefully we now have more options & suggestions for families than the old “let them hit bottom” and “stop enabling/being codependent.” We can now say, “don’t stop loving your family member!” and “when our loved ones are ill we need to hold them closer.” Learning how and when to “hold them closer” so change can be possible is the challenge. One way of helping us may be to learn more about change in general. How does it happen? How can we help or hinder change? Is it ever successful?image004

We’ve learned a great deal about how people make change(s) in their lives. The researchers James Prochaska, Carlo DiClemente, and John Norcross discovered how change happens back in the late 1970’s which they called the Transtheoretical Model (TTM) or Stages of Change for short.[11] We’ve learned that instead of looking at abstinence as the best or only way to recover or change, incremental positive change may be the best route: “Any positive change” is the slogan the late harm reductionist, Chicago Recovery Alliance founder Dan Bigg[12] who has used this slogan to describe how to view the small steps typically needed to move toward change.

Harm reduction for families at its core is about providing support to help families make decisions that fit their individuality: their values, their needs, their loved ones. It’s about helping families to see that abstinence is one possible outcome but doesn’t need to be the only one – nor is it always the best option for everyone.

For many people, the best way to make change is to go mindfully and slowly, small step by small step, moving closer and closer – with some setbacks – toward the big change you plan to make. Think of how many people quit smoking (side note: The Stages of Change were discovered when the developers/researchers looked at some 1500 smokers). Usually smokers quit on their own, either with or without the help of aids as nicotine replacement (Nicorette gum, inhalers, lozenges; anti-craving medications). Others just stop, cold turkey. But most professionals now will suggest – for those not wanting that “cold turkey” method – a “warm turkey”[13] approach is a good option especially for those who have a difficult achieving their goals with “cold turkey” methods.

The same can be true for abstinence or moderation goals in drug/alcohol use. Families can now Google terms such as “harm reduction for families” and find options that may be more in line with their values/goals and those of our loved ones using drugs. With cannabis legal in more and more states every day, many of us have found that we are looking to this substance to prove helpful in treating addictions (we already know about its usefulness – alone or in conjunction with cannabidiol CBD[14] – in treating anxiety, pain, depression and more for many people). Most families I work with now are more than delighted to have their former problematic drug-using loved one find relief and assistance in some form of cannabis.

Harm reduction for families at its core is about providing support to help families make decisions that fit their individuality: their values, their needs, their loved ones. It’s about helping families to see that abstinence is one possible outcome but doesn’t need to be the only one – nor is it always the best option for everyone. And by the way, one can definitely not be abstinent (defined as not taking any medication/drug) and still be “in recovery.[15]” More and more families are coming to see harm reduction as a better fit for them than the old “hit bottom/throw them out” model as they see the harm that is caused to them and their loved ones by such traditional, zero tolerance policies.

Families have also had enough of the old ways of thinking from my profession – the misinformation/scare tactics, the lack of nuance in treating them and their loved ones who use drugs, the one-size-fits-all approach – even the beloved American disease model of addiction has been challenged by many of the families I see![16] Family work in addictions is at a crossroads: in my opinion, it is the outcry from families that will be the reason new harm reduction policies will be adopted. It is your voices that are the loudest, strongest, and which will be best received since frankly, families are seen as victims of addiction unlike “addicts” (I’m not suggesting this view is accurate or not, simply that it is a reality in our culture). Bottom line: once again it’s about LOVE. LOVE which is the center of positive and healthy communication – and something we can all improve on demonstrating within our families this minute.

So grab one of these books – or perhaps you know of another one that fits your needs best – and start reading and practicing. It’s time for our Family Recovery movement. We must demand better, more from the professionals and other healthcare practitioners. And we must learn to improve our own communication with love.[17]image008

(Note: all photos are from unsplash.com)

Don’t miss next month’s edition:  “Holy Holidays, Batman!!  12 Tips for Enjoying the Holidays in Spite of Everything.”  

 

REFERENCES

[1] www.johnbradshaw.com.

[2] Ibid. Accessed on 9.26.18.

[3] Denning, P & Little, J. (2017). Over the Influence, 2nd Edition. Guilford Press. NY:NY. p221.

[4]https://the20minuteguide.com/. Accessed on 9.26.18. p11-12.

[5] Ibid

[6] Ibid. p13-14.

[7] Denning, P & Little, J. (2017). Over the Influence, 2nd Edition. Guilford Press. NY:NY. p221.

[8] www.robertjmeyersphd.com. Accessed on 9.26.18.

[9] Statistics for success re: professional treatment is difficult. 30% is the highest publicized rate yet this number generally reflects only those who completed treatment, not who improved longterm. AA’s rates are about 5%.

[10] https://www.fds.org.au/newsletters/letter-to-family-and-friends (accessed 10.22.2018)

[11] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transtheoretical_model (accessed 10.22.2018)

[12] Chicago Recovery Alliance (CRA): www.anypositivechange.org

[13] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1787547

[14] https://www.projectcbd.org/about/what-cbd. Accessed on 10.25.2018.

[15] https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-11_aamembersMedDrug.pdf

[16] See works by Marc Lewis, Maia Szalavitz, Stanton Peele, Jeff Foote, Denning & Little, Andrew Tatarsky, to name a few professionals in the field who do not ascribe to the traditional disease concept of addiction. Dr. Marc Lewis is a neuroscientist, researcher and former drug addict who has authored several books on this subject: http://www.memoirsofanaddictedbrain.com/authors-bio/

[17] Another book I suggest & use with families: William Miller’s (Motivational Interviewing) 2018 book titled, “Listening Well: The Art of Empathic Understanding.” It’s available at Amazon and beyond.

 

FSDP Co-founder Carol Katz Beyer Represents the Family Voice at Rutgers University School of Law

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FSDP was privileged to have co-founder Carol Katz Beyer invited to participate on an international panel of experts at the Rutgers University School of Law on October 31, 2018. Randy Thompson, founder of Help Not Handcuffs hosted the discussion on “Drug Decriminalization: The Triumph of Human Rights and Health over the Drug War”45144582_2393306420685983_7391489221489328128_n

Randy Thompson, founder of Help Not Handcuffs, in conjunction with The Open Society Foundations (OSF), The Rutgers Criminal Law Society and the Rutgers Public Interest Law Student Association, coordinated the event featuring Dr.João Goulão, the Portuguese Drug Czar, Kasia Malinowska, Director of the Global Drug Policy Program at OSF, Tess Borden, Staff Attorney for the ACLU-NJ and Carol Katz Beyer of FSDP as speakers.

What was detailed was nothing short of amazing! Portugal, which decriminalized all drugs has almost non-existent overdose deaths. In Portugal, harm reduction is so well developed that it is significantly reduced overdose deaths and the spread of HIV/AIDS and HepC; and they provide superior treatment on demand for those who want it, at less than 1/10th of the cost to taxpayers compared to the New Jersey system

Kasia engaged Dr. Goulão in a conversation and he brilliantly articulated the history of how the Portugal model came to be. He illustrated that change is possible when the goal is to elevate society through the lens of public health with strategies and solutions rooted in compassion and science.

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Panel, from left: Dr. João Goulão, Kasia Malinowska, Tess Borden, Carol Katz Beyer

Tess detailed the egregious human rights violations that the US policies of prohibition and criminalization are inflicting on families.

Carol eloquently elucidated the issues and harms that our families needlessly suffer as a consequence of the war on drugs as well as recommended public health solutions. Carol said, “I cannot express enough how privileged I felt to be present in the company of Dr. João Goulão who articulated so poignantly what transformative solutions in drug policy reform look like”.

Immense appreciation and thanks go to Randy, who did a tremendous job organizing this important event and skillfully moderating. There was a robust Q and A afterwards as audience members representing Rutgers law students, healthcare professionals, and community members.

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Host/Moderator Help Not Handcuffs founder Randy Thompson

I cannot express enough how privileged I felt to be present in the company of Dr. João Goulão who articulated so poignantly what transformative solutions in drug policy reform look like–FSDP co-founder Carol Katz Beyer.

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Attendees included FSDP co-founder Barry Lessin and FSDP members Anne Earle and Lisa Raphael

Because of your ongoing support, we are bringing our communities together, empowering families, restoring health and saving lives!

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FSDP at The 12th National Harm Reduction Conference in New Orleans, LA

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Thanks to the generosity and support of our friends and stakeholders Team FSDP attended the 12th National Harm Reduction Conference #harmred18 in New Orleans, LA, October 18-21, representing a growing number of families who are adversely impacted by the unprecedented public health crisis surrounding substance use.

This biennial event brought together some of the most creative minds from the US and abroad to address a myriad of complex issues facing the harm reduction movement. A diverse community of people who use drugs, social justice activists, service providers, healthcare workers, researchers, policymakers, public health officials, and law enforcement gathering together determined to put an end to the harms and injustices caused by the War on Drugs.

FSDP is dedicated to serving the needs of our families and our participation in this conference is a heartfelt expression to honor our loved ones who have been lost to overdose and to save the lives of those who remain at risk.

 

FSDP co-founders Carol Katz Beyer and Barry Lessin were privileged to be invited to join harm reduction pioneer and visionary Patt Denning, Ph.D. on her panel: “Loving Someone Who Loves Drugs and Alcohol.”

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Patt outlined specific strategies for family members and friends based on guiding principles of harm reduction including “there are no rules except the ones you make”, “establish your absolute limits”, affirm your values, “identify what’s most important for you” and “tough love is neither, and it feels bad to all”.

The packed meeting room was inspired by Carol sharing how her lived experience inspired her to advocate for impacted families by creating a space to powerfully speak the truth to the powers that be in the broken treatment-industrial complex.

Barry gave an overview of the work of FSDP and shared how family and friends can become empowered by being open to reality-based harm reduction information and sharing it with peers, planting seeds of hope in their communities.

Our dedicated team was on hand to welcome attendees at our exhibit table continuing the conversation, networking and providing conference attendees with educational materials, tutorials and resources.

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Thank you Juan Fernandez Ochoa for sending us the Support Don’t Punish t-shirts. They were a big hit!

The 2018 Harm Reduction Conference comes at a time when harm reduction, health care, and drug policy reform have entered a dynamic and critical phase. The prescription opioid and heroin overdose epidemic has captured national attention, with renewed focus on transmission of HIV and Hep C among people who use drugs. These trends are reshaping the policy and public health landscapes, making harm reduction more urgent and relevant than ever before.

Because of your ongoing support, we are bringing our communities together, empowering families, restoring health and saving lives!HandDonate