September is Recovery Month: Reinventing Recovery

 

Welcome to the September 2018 edition of Family Matters – Families Matter, our new blog authored and curated by FSDP’s Guest Blogger–pioneering harm reduction therapist, educator, advocate and author Dee-Dee Stout. To learn more about how your family can join our growing community of enlightened friends and advocates sign up here now.

In the first of a series of our Fall 2018 blogs, since September is Recovery Month for SAMHSA, this seemed the perfect time to write about the word, or concept of, “recovery” specifically as it’s typically applied in substance use disorder (or “addiction”) treatment.

September is also the traditional “back to school” month and many of us have kids who are returning to school or perhaps young adults transitioning to college. This is a good time to to review constructive ways to talk to our kids about alcohol and other drugs, and also to take a new look at treatment, drug policy, binge drinking. and how to negotiate the holidays  Therefore, for the remainder of 2018, our blogs will take a look at those topics and more. See you next month! #recoverywithoutabstinence #stopthestigma #familiesmatter

And now our 2018 “Recovery Month” edition:

Reinventing Recovery

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Photo by Toa Heftiba from unsplash.com

Usually when we hear (or often use) the term “recovery”, it has a very specific meaning: nearly always 12-Step oriented, abstinence-only based, and says to us this is a disease you’ll have forever. I want to definitively make the case for a new kind of recovery in the world of addiction(s): an “inclusive v exclusive” recovery that does not require the elements we’re used to – including abstinence – but whose definition can certainly contain it …and so much more. 

Recovery. It’s a truly loaded word (pun intended). Let’s go on a bit of a journey to see how and from where our concept(s) of recovery stems as it’s a word that comes with a lot of baggage, both positive and less than positive.

According to etymonline.com, the origin/first use of the word “recovery” comes in the mid-14th century and meant “return to health.” “Recovery” originates from the Anglo-French word “recoverie” meaning “remedy or cure.” The additional meaning of an “act of righting oneself after a blunder, mishap, etc.” is from the 1520’s. Could this also be at the root of the word having such moral implications?

In his July 2014 article for Psychology Today, well-known addiction expert, author and former Harvard Medical School professor, psychiatrist Dr. Lance Dodes discusses some of the problems we have with the word “recovery.”[1] In part, he sees the word as acceptable in the context of “recovering from a medical illness”, meaning that 1) relapse/lapse is normal, and that 2) one is headed toward a cure or an ending of the condition/illness. Quoting from the article, Dr. Dodes says, “In most of life, ‘being in recovery’ means a person is making progress even though s/he isn’t ‘cured.’” This is far different than how we too often hear the word used in addiction treatment circles or our greater culture. In both places, “recovery” typically means that one is abstinent and attending a 12-Step group – “working the program” to use the language of AA for example. This is meant to establish an “us vs. them” quality: you’re either attending meetings, working the Steps, and have a sponsor so you’re “in recovery” or you’re not and therefore you’re not in recovery. Black or white; right or wrong. Plus, the implication is that anything short of a 12-Step traditional recovery means you’re not doing recovery “right.” A lot of people – including many professionals – believe this is what the word means and ONLY what it means. I, too, believed this for a long time.

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photo by Danielle MacInnes for unsplash.com

I went to residential treatment here in Oakland, CA, in the late 1980’s. These were the “salad days” for residential treatment, coming on the heels of First Lady Betty Ford openly discussing her addiction to alcohol and pain medications.[2] No one of her stature had ever talked about their alcohol and other drug problems in the US and her “coming out” can’t be understated; it was also a huge step in reducing the stigma/shame for others to seek help for their substance misuse/problems. Finally, this event was also partly responsible for opening the doors of treatment to become the Big Business it is today (more on that in another piece).

In treatment, we were taught that addiction is a 3-fold disease: bio-psycho-social (some also added “spiritual”). It was like a, sleeping tiger, always waiting to pounce on you unless you were constantly vigilant in your recovery (meaning abstinence, attending meetings regularly, and “working a good program.”). We were taught phrases such as, “Your mind is like a dangerous neighborhood: don’t go in it alone” and “Avoid old people, places and things to stay sober.” In other words, 1) don’t trust your own thinking because you’re an addict/alcoholic and “your best thinking got you here”, 2) you’re never fully recovered, and 3) you must cut off all your old friends as they were only using friends and therefore not interested in your well-being; your relationships were only based on drug use. I remember someone saying that everything I had done up to the point of my entering treatment/recovery didn’t count – but now my life could really begin: “Today is the first day of the rest of your life”[3] was up on a wall somewhere. Scary stuff. And I was scared straight.

In what’s known in 12-Step circles as the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous 3rd edition), there are several references to the word “recovery” and “recovering” (somewhere around 15) but also references (about 10) to the word “recovered” which is akin to blasphemy today in most 12-Step circles.[4] This is another point of contention for many of us. Can we ever say we’re “recovered” or even “cured?” I say, “yes we can,” to borrow a phrase. And that we should. Why? Because to those outside of traditional treatment/recovery, I hear folks constantly say, “Apparently treatment doesn’t work because you people are never recovered!” I had never thought of the phrase “recovering” as potentially responsible for this perception. I personally say that after over 30 years of continuous abstinence, I am completely comfortable declaring that I’m “recovered;” the problems I have today have nothing to do with illicit drug and/or alcohol use (sometimes that would be simpler, frankly). The first paragraph in Chapter 2 of the 3rd edition of the Big Book titled, “There is a Solution,” also appears to see an end state to addiction. It states: “We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, (italics theirs) know thousands of men and women who were once just as hopeless as Bill. Nearly all have recovered (emphasis mine). They have solved the drink problem.”[5] This passage certainly seems to imply that one can indeed recover. But then what exactly does it mean to recover? And how do we achieve this state of being?

Mindfulness + Connectedness + Inner Growth

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Photo by Austin Chan for unsplash.com

 

A Phrase is Born. While working for the large American HMO Kaiser in the 1990’s, I was charged with developing and leading a relapse prevention track for patients in our Chemical Dependency Recovery Program (CDRP). These were folks for whom the course of treatment we offered (intensive outpatient program or IOP) didn’t work – or, as we phrased things back then, patients who didn’t try hard enough, were in denial of their “disease,” or simply relapsed back into drug/alcohol use due to inattention to “people, place, and things.” During one of our evening groups we were working on a definition for “recovery” and decided to see what we could come up ourselves. After all, we surmised, how can one relapse if you don’t have a clear idea of recovery?

Mindfulness, connectedness, and inner growth was the phrase we all agreed described the basic ingredients for recovery. It wasn’t until later that someone noticed we neglected to include anything about abstinence/sobriety, 12-Step attendance, or the other usual things we associate(d) with recovery. I remember that night well because a gigantic light bulb didn’t just light up, it blew up in my head! This was the moment I began to wrap my head around the idea that perhaps alcohol and other drug use itself – and abstinence specifically – really had nothing to do with one’s healing or recovery; recovery wasn’t in fact begun with stopping drug use first (which is what we always told folks). What was at the core of the concept of true recovery of one’s life we decided were these 3 elements defined here – which may or may not include an end to one’s drug use:

Mindfulness: paying attention – to what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you’re putting in your mouth/arm/throat/etc., really everything that’s happening as well as you humanly can, plain and simple.

Connectedness: this means getting reacquainted with yourself, a vertical connection, we called it – your body, your mind, your spirit – and fully trusting them. This also spoke to the idea that your mind is connected to your body (yes, no matter what Descartes[6] said, they’re attached; it’s called a neck!). This vertical connection could also be to a higher power or great spirit of some kind. Connectedness includes a horizontal connection, too, or connection with others.[7]

Inner growth: this was a bit more difficult to flesh out at the time but we settled on it meaning whatever an individual does that leads to their seeking out new information and new ideas, being a part of the world at large. This could be going to school, walking in the park, dating, making new friends, a yoga practice, meditation, attending synagogue/mosque/church/temple/circle, or even reading. Or anything else that “feeds” a human’s curiosity and need for knowledge.

And that was it. Drug use, abstinence, continued using or something in between, wasn’t mentioned. Why? Because we realized that in any other bio-psycho-social illness (which nearly all are), one did not have to recover perfectly. In fact, in my definition humans cannot do this – at least not all the time. And we realized that it wasn’t the alcohol or other drugs that were at the core of the problems we had: they were but a symptom. [8]

Therefore, one could indeed be in recovery and use drugs. Not problematically because then you’re not connected or mindful or growing. But we agreed (again to our collective surprise) that yes, one could be using alcohol or other drugs – having a healthy relationship with them – and be mindful, connected, and growing internally: in recovery. And we also agreed that for some folks, to have these 3 elements in their lives could require abstinence: total, partial, forever or for a while, we made no comment on those notions. That would remain up to the individual (which also fits within AA/12-Step guidelines of no one being able to tell another that they are an “alcoholic or addict.”). In fact, we realized that having healthy relationships of all kinds could be achieved through these three elements. What a jolt to the brain this was to us all!

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Photo by Ron Smith for unsplash.com

YOU GOTTA GIVE THEM HOPE”, Harvey Milk[9]

These days, I have come to realize that it appears these elements or ingredients of recovery also build on one another: for example, you first need to improve or have some mindfulness about what you’re doing before you can truly connect with others and yourself, and that action can lead to growing internally. And again, we made the argument then which I’ll repeat here, drugs and drug use (including alcohol of course) don’t necessarily impede one’s ability to recover or regain health from having problems with them – or being “addicted.” The problem is in one’s relationship with substances or behaviors that have become problematic or compulsive, and that we continue to engage in despite negative consequences – what we call “addiction.” So here’s the Big Question: what if we as a collective culture decided to work on these 3 ingredients and the issues that get in one’s way of achieving them? What if we decided to help those in need to uncover why they – or collectively, why so many of us in the wealthiest nation in the galaxy – need to use substances in order to cope? Hmmm…

It’s time to reinvent the word recovery to mean this: “I have recovered my life and my health. with or without abstinence. I am mindful, connected, and growing.” Now that’s real recovery!

One of the ways to address these issues of the lack of mindfulness, connectedness, and inner growth is with what the Canadian author, physician, and addiction expert Dr. Gabor Mate calls “compassionate inquiry.”[10] Dr. Mate makes the case for needing people in our lives who can/will listen deeply, compassionately to those of us involved in using substances/behaviors that are causing pain in our lives. Another advocate of doing things differently in treatment is Stanton Peele, PhD, JD. In his newest book on addiction, Recover! Stop Thinking Like an Addict and Reclaim Your Life with The Perfect Program,[11] Dr. Peele discusses these issues at length, as he has for over 50 years. As an early adopter of harm reduction principles, he has tried to get us all – but especially we Americans – to see that the way we have come to view addiction is all wrong: 1) it’s not a disease, 2) most people quit on their own (so how can it be a disease), and 3) not all people are susceptible to becoming addicted. In fact, by viewing addiction as a disease, our society has actually increased the possibility of relapse[12]. It reminds me a bit of Charlton Heston’s famous line at the end of the film, The Planet of the Apes, when he realizes where he really is – back on Earth: “You finally really did it. You maniacs! …God damn you. God damn you all!” In looking for the reasons for addiction, we have to consider that perhaps, unintentionally, we have done much of the damage ourselves with our racist policies, unscientific treatments/interventions, and blaming of the people who use drugs (and often their families as well). It sure is easier to blame a drug(s). It’s much harder to look within, compassionately and deeply, for the reasons so many of us are in pain (of all kinds) and need relief to cope with living.

I see September’s Recovery Month as a great time to take a look at what we’ve done with addiction treatment and recovery. And to take a hard look in the Mirror of Truth about our society and its complicity in addiction(s). It’s time to stop the unscientifically-tested treatment of this “medical-and-more” complicated condition. It’s time to demand professionals who are highly trained and compassionate – always. It’s time to radically change how we view people with substance problems – and their loved ones – regardless of whether you believe this is a condition of their making or not.

It’s time to reinvent the word recovery to mean this: “I have recovered my life and my health. with or without abstinence. I am mindful, connected, and growing.” Now that’s real recovery!

DON’T MISS NEXT MONTH’s EDITION: 

COMMUNICATING WITH LOVE ABOUT DRUGS WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE. 

[1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-heart-addiction/201407/what-does-it-mean-be-in-recovery

[2] A Johnson Institute-style intervention was held in 1978 for Mrs. Ford leading her to seek treatment for her substance use. In 1982, she founded The Betty Ford Center which is now part of the Hazelden family of programs.

[3] As discussed in our last piece on “tough love,” the originator of this phrase is the founder of Synanon, Chuck Dederich.

[4] “A Reference Guide to the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous” by Stewart C.; (1986). Recovery Press, Seattle, WA.

[5] p17. Note: The “Bill” that is referenced here refers to the co-founder of AA, Bill Wilson.

[6] Rene Descartes was a 16th c. French philosophermathematician, and scientist; dubbed the father of modern Western philosophy who famously argued that the human body and mind were separate. Wikipedia.com

[7] Remember that church I mentioned in my first blog, the United Church of Christ or UCC? There we were taught that God was within each person and living thing on Earth and that we were all connected. Very Deepak Chopra. Hmmm…

[8] Interestingly enough, a similar idea can be found in AA’s Big Book on p85, in this line: “What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.” And I was taught that “spiritual” merely meant connected.

[9] Quote from slain San Francisco Supervisor Harvey Milk, one of the country’s first openly gay politicians. This is from a tape recording (1977-11-18) to be played in the event of his assassination, quoted in Randy Shilts book, The Mayor of Castro Street: The Life and Times of Harvey Milk. (1982), p. 277. Wikipedia.com; personal communications.

[10] From Dr. Mate’s website, drgabormate.com: “Through Compassionate Inquiry, the client can recognize the unconscious dynamics that run their lives and how to liberate themselves from them.”

[11] For more information, view the results of the NESARC study and more, discussed in Dr. Peele’s book, p36-42. (2014), Da Capo Press.

[12] Miller et al; “What predicts relapse? Prospective testing of antecedent models.” https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1360-0443.91.12s1.7.x

“Love Has No Labels: The Rise and (hopeful) Fall of Tough Love in America?” — Part 1

 

Welcome to the second installment of Family Matters – Families Matter, our new blog authored and curated by FSDP’s Guest Blogger–pioneering harm reduction therapist, educator, advocate and author Dee-Dee Stout. To learn more about how your family can join our growing community of enlightened friends and advocates sign up here now

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(photo by Tyler Nix @unsplash)

Hello again!

Before we get into the meat of this topic, I need to say a couple of things: First, I apologize for not finding a way to present this in my usual more light-hearted way. This just seemed too serious of a topic for that. I just finished reading Maia Szalavitz’ 2006 book Help at Any Cost which deeply disturbed me. Although I was certainly aware in a general way about a lot of the material about teen “treatment” programs, I was both obsessive to finish the book (reading until 2AM) and distressed that these programs are still around. Here in the Bay Area, our local newspaper, The San Francisco Chronicle just did an expose on teen “leadership” schools. As a result of the excellent journalistic work, many supporters and contributors to these programs have now removed their support, both financial and verbal. But there are some who insist these programs are meaningful.

This is also true in Ms. Szalavitz’ book. I’ve seen this in my classrooms over the years of teaching folks to become certified alcohol and other drug counselors. Many of my former students came from Synanon-influenced programs (often ones they attended as clients and then became workers, which I did, too) such as the former Walden House and Delancey Street (which is the only true therapeutic community (TC) left as they do not employ any professionals, the definition of a TC) and some have insisted that they were helped by such “tough love.”

I had the opportunity to ask the world-renowned researcher, Emeritus Professor William R. Miller (author/developer of Motivational Interviewing (MI) about this once. “is it possible that these folks were actually helped by these abusive tactics?” He responded, “I believe that these are people that are so motivated to make a change in their lives that you could have put them anywhere and they would’ve found a way to get better. So, their lives improved not because of the treatment they received but in spite of it.” That response has stuck in my mind and did so while writing this blog installment.

Finally, I was allowed to view the new film Fix My Kid, a documentary on the organization Straight, Inc, a popular behavior modification program for teens from the 1970’s (it was closed in the 1990’s but really just redesigned and opened under new names).  I can’t begin to tell you how upset I became watching this.  Some of this is certainly due to my own experiences with “tough love” but as a human being, I don’t see how anyone could view this without teetering between anger, outrage, and incredible sadness.  I highly recommend a viewing when it becomes available – but be prepared.

And two more blog housekeeping things:  1) As this topic is both so important and large, I’m doing two installments this time.  Today we present Part 1, covering some of the basics of “tough love” and approximately one month later you can expect to see Part 2, which will go into more detail especially as to how the culture came to embrace this concept.  Please let me know at info@fsdp.org what you think about this two-part format.  2) Since September is National Recovery Month, I’ll be doing an installment on the word “recovery” then which I promise will not be your typical take on the word!

And so…here we go again!

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” If you remember that phrase, you were around in 1970 when the film, Love Story, came out (starring Ali MacGraw and Ryan O’Neal) and this phrase about love was the tagline in the studio’s advertising that, using today’s language, went viral. Even then I wasn’t very fond of the phrase. To me, love was quite the opposite: it meant I could make mistakes and saying you’re sorry was part of the healing process – and love would always still be there; it was a given; it had no limits – even if I do. We’ll return to setting limits later.

I’ve been reading a lot of things about love/tough love/etc, preparing for this blog. In a piece from the HuffPost from 2012, writer Sheryl Paul states that if there are conditions on love, then it’s not love but approval – either trying to get it or give it. I hadn’t thought of it in quite that way but she’s absolutely right. And love is NOT the same as approval. In fact, the challenge of love is to love. Full stop. Anything else is based on approval and doesn’t feel like love to the person on the receiving end – because it’s not. Real love isn’t conditional.

A popular phrase in 12-Step/AlaAnon is “you have to let them hit bottom.” We are told as family members that this is “letting go with love.”  However, what if “their bottom” is death? Or jail/prison? Or something else traumatic? How is letting someone “hit their bottom” showing love and not simply trying to control or give approval for “doing the right thing” and not “enabling”? And what evidence do we really have that hitting bottom works? None, save some individual stories of such (side note: I just googled the phrase “hitting bottom” and found a disturbing number of articles and treatment centers advocating this approach). Back to Dr. William Miller: MI has shown us, as has CRAFT (Community Reinforcement Approach and Family Training; developed by Dr. Robert Meyers), that standing by and letting a problem drug user get to the absolute worst place they can does little to actually help them seek treatment/change. In fact, it typically makes things worse (the late Dr. G. Alan Marlatt showed this in several studies and discusses this in his seminal books, Harm Reduction and Relapse Prevention).

Anecdotally, when I was in more pain (of all kinds) and things got even worse, that made drug use even more attractive, no matter the negative consequences. And this is typical. This doesn’t mean family shouldn’t allow for some natural consequences. What those are and how one decides when enough is enough must be decided by each individual family and needs to be discussed with the problem drug user beforehand so there are no surprises

So, where did we get this idea of “tough love” especially if it’s harmful? And why is it still such a popular approach? Although tough love is a concept used on adults as well as teens, according to Szalavitz’ book, Help at Any Cost, the phrase “tough love” was first coined by Bill Milliken in his book of the same name in 1968 that discussed parenting approaches. There is also another book of nearly the same name, ToughLove by Phyllis and David York from 1985. Either way, the phrase started out as a term for parents to describe interventions to be used as their teenagers began to act out – perhaps using/misusing alcohol and other drugs – and engage in other less-healthy/desirable behaviors. Unfortunately, typical adolescent separation/developmental behaviors became pathologized (still often are….more on that perhaps at another time). Before the phrase “tough love” caught on in parenting circles, the concept was used here in California by a group long gone but whose long reach can still be felt in drug treatment facilities here and across the country: Synanon.

Synanon was a California institution. It was founded in 1958 in the then sleepy beach town of Santa Monica, by Charles (Chuck) Dederich. According to journalist Matt Novack, Synanon “was one of most dangerous and violent cults America had ever seen…” I have seen the outcomes of Synanon up close and personal through my work in treatment facilities, many founded by former Synanon members. Several ideas of these persuasive and talented people were sensible. Sadly, though I believe all meant well, many of their ideas were still too infused with the highly confrontational concepts of Synanon. Having worked and been trained in some of these treatment centers, I am saddened to know that while I helped many people in the dozen or so years I worked in this confrontational style, I am aware that I harmed many others. But Synanon was more than highly confrontational. It was far worse and caused far greater harm.

Synanon was the developer of something they called “The Game.”

“They played the “game” in which anyone was allowed to say anything, true or not, to someone to cause an effect. Only the threat of violence was prohibited. It was a game because one being gamed could turn the game on another.

Addicts’ behaviors and past lives were attacked viciously in games, members were told their lives depended on staying, contacts with family were prohibited, and a system of rewards and punishments was applied. Publicly one was berated ({given a] “haircut”) for misdeeds…Dederich and Yablonsky acknowledged that the system was brainwashing…”

And brainwashing was what Synanon leaders believed drug users needed. According to Paul Morantz (an attorney Dederich attempted to murder for suing Synanon) is credited with coining the phrase “Today is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life.” He also “preached “Act as If” which meant do not try to reason as to what Synanon asks they do; as thinking got them there, just trust what they were told and act as if it is right.” Alcoholic Anonymous (AA) uses similar slogans today. In fact, Dederich was a longtime AA member and popular speaker before his transformation to cult leader (Dederich later became mentally unraveled, extremely paranoid, and preached of a new religion he called Synanon III.

Synanon was heralded as a drug addict-saving program and even had the blessings of Governor Edmund “Pat” Brown, who exempted them from health licensing laws. They also started seeing monetary gains as Hollywood superstars such as Robert Wagner, Leonard Nimoy, and Ben Gazzara came to play “the game.” Life magazine did a 14 page in-depth article in which they quoted a Congressman calling Synanon the “Miracle on the Beach.” Columbia Pictures even made a film on it. By the mid-1960’s, Synanon was known as a alternative community which attracted its members through a focus on living a “self-examined life” using “the Game” to uncover hidden truths in group sessions. Even non-drug using professionals were invited to join as long as they “gifted” their assets. Like other cults, Synanon worked by controlling its members. In Synanon the main source of control was by use of “the ‘Synanon Game.’ The “Game” could be considered a therapeutic tool, likened to group therapy; or a social control, in which members humiliated one another and encouraged the exposure of one’s innermost weaknesses, or both.” This was truly tough love at its “finest.”

Today we may not see toilet seats around clients’ necks (I heard reputable reports that this was done in some drug treatment facilities up to the late 1990’s, to demonstrate that a client had behaved like a ‘piece of shit’) but we certainly continue to have the ethos of stigma, shaming, and harsh confrontation we inherited from Synanon. The threads of Synanon are woven throughout drug treatment programs everywhere in the US (and further in a few cases) today.

PART 2 “Love Has No Labels: The Rise and (hopeful) Fall of Tough Love in America?” coming August 2018

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IMG_6574Dee-Dee has worked in the addictions/mental health worlds for more than 30 years and continues to maintain a busy clinical practice where she works with a variety of clients whose behavioral goals include abstinence, moderation, and “anything they want and in any way they want” to achieve their goals. Her book, Coming to Harm Reduction Kicking and Screaming: Looking for Harm Reduction in a 12-Step World is widely available and has received positive reviews.

 

 

“Family Matters – Families Matter”: FSDP’s New Blog by Dee-Dee Stout

IMG_6574FSDP is excited to introduce the premiere of Families Matter – Family Matters, our new blog authored and curated by FSDP’s Guest Bloggerpioneering harm reduction therapist, educator, advocate and author Dee-Dee Stout. We are indeed privileged to have Dee-Dee on Team FSDP, sharing her wisdom, charm and storytelling ability with us….

To learn more about how your family can join our growing community of enlightened friends and advocates sign up here now

Treat people as if they are who they can be and you help them become who they’re capable of being —- Goethe

Hello! And welcome to the premiere of FSDP’s blog Families Matter – Family Matters!

I will be talking with you about everything and anything having to do with alcohol and other drug use: family concerns including treatment, policy, advocacy, and whatever else you all might want to know/talk more about. I hope you will send me questions, topic ideas, comments, thoughts and more anytime. Please send your requests to info@fsdp.org

And now to the blog….

It was suggested that I might use this premier “episode” to talk more about who I am in relation to addictions/mental health, harm reduction, and advocacy. For this episode I decided to focus on “advocacy”: what it is and how I got started. (I’ll save how I’ve changed as a result of learning to be a better advocate for later – especially regarding how I now work with folks including families).

So, as the line goes: “Fasten your seat belts; it’s going to be a bumpy night!”download

Worms. Yes, those creepy crawly things some of you might use to improve the soil in your gardens or perhaps on a fish hook. Worms were my first lesson in advocacy and it come from my wonderfully crazy father. What do worms have to do with advocacy, you ask? Well, let me start at the beginning…

When I was about 3, I decided for some reason that I hated worms. I don’t mean kinda- didn’t-like-them, or say “eeuuwww – worms!” whenever I would see them. I mean all-out-I’m-declaring-a-war-on-them HATE. I would go around our neighborhood squishing them all spring whenever I saw one – and that was pretty often in the Midwest in springtime. At this point, my folks and I were living in Ann Arbor, Michigan, where my folks were in school at the University of Michigan and my dad was studying science. He saw me stepping on worms one day and didn’t think that was a ‘positive behavior’ (he knew worms were helpful). So, he got the brilliant idea that if he taught me about how special worms were – their scientific value if you will – I wouldn’t want to kill them anymore. Sounds logical, right?

So, he set up all kinds of fascinating scientific experiments on worms: he put them in darkness to show me how they didn’t need light to move around well; he put vinegar on them and watched them recoil from that ingredient; he cut them in half to show how they could still survive. Finally, he tried putting salt on them which they didn’t seem to like. These experiments went on for a week! At the end of the week, I distinctly remember my father asking me, “so Adelia, don’t you feel bad for killing these wonderful creatures now?” To which I naturally replied, as any 3-year-old would, “well I still don’t like them but I guess I won’t kill them anymore.” Vindication was his – and I had learned my first lesson in advocacy – or how to stand up for a being without a voice!

Now if you knew my dad you’d know that this lesson in “advocacy/knowledge is important” idea isn’t at all strange for him. For instance, my dad always had binoculars, a copy of Peterson’s Guide to Birds, and trash bags in the car. These items were as important and as ubiquitous as the gum he always kept in the ashtrays. Whenever we were driving with him, we would practice “spotting” birds, stopping to view them through those binoculars to then find their photo in the Peterson’s guide. We would also stop periodically to pick up trash: not ours as we had a small trashcan in the car, but just litter: on the side of the road, caught in trees, at roadside picnic areas – everywhere (side note: at 81 he’s still picking up trash now in downtown Chicago!).

Now you might be asking, what in the world do these stories have to do with advocacy? Well, I believe they’re all connected if we look at the origin of the word. According to dictionary.com, advocacy stems from the Latin “advocare” which means “to add a voice.” Another site, vocabulary.com states the origin is the word “advocatus” which means “one called to aid another.” So, advocacy of the Earth, of our planet’s creatures – great and small – and our responsibility as stewards of them – such as keeping their home free of trash – is advocacy: we are giving voice to and aiding those who need us to do so.

I don’t think I ever realized just how long I’ve been an advocate of one sort or another until recently. And that the early lessons I got especially from my dad has led me down this path of demanding we hear the voices of those that struggle to speak – and just how these experiences have shaped my life, especially now.

My most powerful and personal lesson of advocacy – namely championing a cause – came when a bit later, when I was about 8 or 9 years old. I have always had an extremely close and empathetic bond with animals of all kinds: for one, they don’t judge and they love us unconditionally. As a kid, I grew up with cats (two Siamese, to be exact) though later I added a dog or 2 to the mix that always included a couple of cats at least. But I also felt a closeness to all animals and enjoyed studying about them. After my folks graduated University, my dad took a job as a traveling salesman for a hospital and clinic supply company (he would remain there for 25 years and not leave until after my mother died). His territory was the entire state of Michigan which included both the Upper (or the “UP”) and Lower Peninsulas. Sometimes I had the opportunity to travel with him which I loved.

On one of these trips, I became aware of something called “roadside zoos” which most gas stations seemed to have then. These so-called “zoos” were actually cages (usually quite small) holding all sorts of animals indigenous to Michigan: bears, beavers, otters, raccoons, and more. Often the gas station would have a large stuffed black bear out front signaling that they had one of these “roadside zoos.” The animals locked in these cages paced a lot – when they could move – and always seemed sad and scared. I cried every single time I saw one of these zoos. On one of these trips, I became so upset that I couldn’t be consoled. My dad told me I should write to my Congressmen and other politicians to complain about these zoos and inform them of the conditions these animals were in (my first lesson in Civics!) and so I did. I wrote to our State Senators, the Governor, and even the President of the United States. And I received letters back (one was even handwritten!). I was very impressed!

Later that year, the State’s Congressional body moved to outlaw these “roadside zoos” and of course my dad said my letters must have had an influence on this decision. I’m not so sure about that but it sure pleased me as a youngster to think it might have, and caused me to pass along this Civics lesson to my own son and others. It also added to my lessons in the importance of standing behind something you believe in: advocacy.

The final piece of my younger “lessons in advocacy” came from being raised in a rather unique church: The United Church of Christ in Midland, MI. The UCC as it’s known, is a church of social justice. We were taught by our beloved minister, Reverend Glenn Baumann, that God lives within each of us and that the only sin was alienating oneself from god (and therefore from others including oneself). We were taught to recycle early on (Michigan was the first state in the US to implement recycling. Anyone remember the Seinfeld episode on such?) as part of caring for the land and resources that were loaned to us while we lived here. This concept of caring included animals. It also included other animals, people, especially those who were marginalized such as drug users, including me.

In 1973, a psychologist by the name of Dr. Don Crowder moved to Midland and advocated for opening an overdose clinic. Of course, Midland’s City Council said we had no drug problem in our city (Midland, MI was then, and is today, the international home of the Dow Chemical Company: you know, Ziploc bags, Saran Wrap and Napalm bomb manufacturers). Dr. Crowder went ahead and opened his clinic which was also staffed by another young psychologist in practice with him – and the two of them trained many of us drug users to help those overdosing, generally in the form of “bad trips” from psychedelics in those days. As I left Midland in 1975, I’m not aware of what happened to the clinic. But again, it fit into my idea of civic duty, church life, and generally caring for others who needed us to go to bat for them, to “sustain the weight of” their burdens – in other words, to be advocates.

I don’t know what led any of you to advocate for sensible drug policies and drug users in general but I hope to hear some of your stories, now that you’ve heard mine. I am a firm believer in the power of stories (hence my book is full of them!) to shape and to influence culture – and of course people. And I see the beauty, as you all do, in what FSDP co-founders Barry Lessin and Carol Katz Beyer have created here at FSDP: loving those that may be (just now) unlovable, and moving away from the one-size-fits-all of treatment for problematic drug users and their families/communities.

It is these stories – sprinkled with science and humor – that I’ll be bringing to you all over the coming months. Thanks for hanging in with me for this premier episode!

Next month: Why “tough love” isn’t love at all but certainly TOUGH – and how we can do better to change this horrible yet ubiquitous phrase. Peace.

Join Us for International Family Drug Support Day 2018

Please join us with friends, families and coworkers in commemorating International Family Drug Support Day (IFDSD) 2018 with our global partners across the miles.

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The 1st National Family Drug Support Day (IFDSD) was held on February 24, 2016–the anniversary of the passing of our good friend Tony Trimingham’s beloved son Damien from a drug related overdose. Tony, the founder of Australia’s Family Drug Support, partnered with FSDP to bring IFDSD to the United States in 2017 and the day has now become an annual international event to highlight the need for families like ours to not only be recognized and heard but to be supported and encouraged to speak about their concerns and their needs.

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                                                     DONATE NOW!

Thanks to all of the amazing participants who came out strong to make last years event a huge success! We are excited to unite old friends and welcome new ones, as we invite everyone to host a gathering—large or small–and raise awareness in your communities. Watch and share this important video about IFDSD with a heartfelt message by Tony.

THIS YEAR’S THEME IS #SUPPORTTHEFAMILYIMPROVETHE OUTCOME

The objectives of IFDSD are to:

  • Reduce stigma and discrimination for families and drug users
  • Promote family drug support services for families and friends
  • Promote harm reduction strategies for families and friends

In addition, the following issues will be highlighted:

  • The important role of FDS and FSDP volunteers in providing family support in the US, Australia, and the world
  • Reducing fatal and non­fatal overdoses from drugs including pharmaceuticals
  • Promoting the widespread availability of naloxone
  • Promote greater inclusion of family members in the decision making process for families experiencing problematic drug use
  • Promoting greater support and resources for treatment services for those who want it and need it

HERE’S WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR EVENT:

  • Be an ambassador for change in your neighborhood by raising awareness within your community
  • Request to meet with your local schools, doctors, political representatives, law enforcement and clergy and we will provide you with a tool kit and promotional materials to support you in your advocacy. Talking points for communicating with the public are here.
  • Invite friends, family or coworkers to share an informal gathering over food or coffee to share discussion and voice the issues.
  • Call your local state and federal legislators. To locate your US representative click here. Talking points for communicating with the legislators are here.
  • Host a harm reduction workshop
  • Invite stakeholders to participate in a naloxone training
  • Promote IFDSD on social media: #SupportTheFamilyImproveTheOutcome

All participants will receive a personal event page that will showcase your organization and identify you as a supporter of this important event.

We welcome your ideas so please feel to be as creative as you like. For more information of to forward your ideas please contact Barry Lessin barry@fsdp.org or Carol Katz Beyer carol@fsdp.org

Your tax-deductible gift will directly help fund our community-based events and reach more people to reduce stigma and discrimination for impacted families, promote better access to treatment and drug support services and encourage wider distribution of naloxone that will reduce fatal and non fatal drug overdoses.

We need your help to make sure that the voices of families continue to be heard. We invite you to stand with FSDP in our battle to empower families, restore health, and save lives.HandDonate

                                                     DONATE NOW!

 Your tax-deductible gift no matter how big or small will help us to forge ahead and change the way our policies and society interact with our families.

FSDP Testifies at the New York State Assembly Committee on Alcoholism And Drug Abuse

Thanks to our friends at VOCAL-NYFSDP was honored to be asked by New York State Assemblyperson Linda B. Rosenthal’s office to submit testimony to the NY State Assembly Standing Committee On Alcoholism And Drug Abuse on the adequacy of funding for prevention, treatment, and recovery services in New York State.
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Carol Katz Beyer and I had an opportunity to represent the voice of the family to share the family perspective acknowledging that on how to use funds to better ensure that life-saving harm reduction strategies and tools will get into the hands of families before problems develop and therefore be able to prevent many overdoses:

 

“The staggering number of people who are relapsing and dying is unacceptable despite having proven strategies to reduce mortality and improve care.  New York State has made it a priority to emphasize the need to address substance use disorder as a public health issue but we now must take the next steps to shift funding streams to enable universal access to proven life-saving public health tools such as medication-assisted treatment, naloxone, and harm reduction services.”

The full testimony can be found here.

FSDP Celebrating Life: A Town Hall with New Solutions for the Opioid Crisis

Please join FSDP co-founders Carol Katz Beyer and Barry Lessin, Team FSDP and our partners–The Center for Optimal Living, Harm Reduction Coalition, The New School, International Network of People Who Use Drugs (INPUD), New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, New York State Psychological Association’s Division on Addictions, and VOCAL-NY—who are representing our families to demand solutions based on a new paradigm of healthcare that provides a comprehensive continuum of care with multi-tiered strategies that empower families with reality-based solutions.

celebratelife_townhall (FINAL)We are privileged to be represented on the panel of representatives from the fields of public health, psychotherapy, community engagement, public policy, and The New School’s Student Health Services who will present their perspectives on the impact of opioid use, the opioid crisis, and how to reduce the number of overdoses.

We will also be training attendees in overdose prevention strategies and naloxone kits will be provided to those who wish to receive them.

Following an overview of the current opioid use patterns and overdose rates in New York, we’ll discuss the programmatic work that is being done to address the multiple challenges associated with this issue. We’ll hear from people who work with active drug users as well as current and former people using drugs contributing to the panel discussion. In addition, treatment professionals will describe an integrative harm reduction approach to working with people using drugs.

Overdose deaths are preventable and we shouldn’t be punished for making progress in our in our path to optimal health and well-being! Lives will be saved when we shift our thinking about treatment to complement and support public health overdose prevention strategies. A harm reduction-informed continuum of care linking harm reduction strategies to the full array of effective substance use disorder treatments needs to be integrated with overdose prevention efforts.

Families impacted by substance use deserve the best care available. Every other medical condition is guided by best practices and we expect nothing less. We are in the best position to help our loved ones and we demand the information and services required to give us the best chance for successful outcomes.

This event is open to the public and is free of charge.

FSPD brings a Weekend of Family Empowerment to the United States

TFDS NYC Workshphe inspirational and motivational moments shared with internationally acclaimed Family Drug Support founder, Tony Trimingham at the International Harm Reduction Conference in Montreal, Canada #HR17 will continue with a dynamic and thought provoking celebration of family empowerment next week in New York City with an extraordinary weekend filled with enlightenment and hope. 

When: May 20, 2017, 10am to 4pm

Where: Center for Optimal Living, 370 Lexington Ave, Suite 500, New York, NY.

FREE Sign up herehttp://support.bpt.me/

Our families have a vital role in the development and resolution of how substance use impacts their home—for far too long our families have not been afforded the opportunity to engage as active participants and problem-solvers.

We remain humbled and honored to serve our growing network of families who are asking for non judgmental alternatives to support optimal health and well-being for their loved ones impacted by substance use while managing their own needs and self care in the process. Attendees will learn how to become ambassadors for your community by implementing a new paradigm of support for families impacted by substance use by becoming a Family Drug Support meeting facilitator.

The FDS model has enjoyed much success over the last 20 years because it presents viable alternatives for families to explore potential solutions and coping strategies. It introduces reality-based concepts and tools based on what families need, expect and experience.

The concepts are based in harm reduction approaches of meeting families where they are, listening and understanding, changing language, dropping labels, stages of change for drug users and their families. coping with positive changes and challenges, while challenging your triggers and assumptions.

This workshop, co-hosted by FSDP, Family Drug Support, Center for Optimal Living, New York Harm Reduction Educators (NYHRE), and Washington Heights CORNER Project.

We are energized and privileged to bring the FDS model of family support to our cherished friends here in the United States and are busy working behind the scenes in preparation to launch our inaugural family support meeting!

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Last year almost 54,000 lives were lost as a consequence of accidental overdose. Many of these deaths could have been prevented by ensuring that our loved ones had access to a full continuum of care that is rooted in science and compassion. Our families deserve person-centered screenings and alternative solutions that meet them where they are with the goal of optimal health and wellness based on individual needs and unique circumstance

Co-sponsored by FSDP, Family Drug Support, Center for Optimal Living, New York Harm Reduction Educators (NYHRE), Washington Heights CORNER Project, Students for Sensible Drug Policy and Community Insite, join us at a FREE panel including International harm reduction pioneers Tony Trimingham and Liz Evans and others, presenting life-saving alternatives to public injection and overdose from other countries

When: Sunday, May 21, 2017, 11:30am

Where: Malcom X and Dr. Betty Shabazz Center, 3940 Broadway, at 165th St, NYC

FREE Sign up here: http://opioidresponse.bpt.me

Evidence from years of research is conclusive that Supervised Injection Facilities (#SIFs) reduce HIV and hepatitis transmission risks, prevent overdose deaths, reduce public injections, reduce discarded syringes, and increase the number of people who enter drug treatment. Across the globe, there have been no reported fatalities from an overdose in an SIF.

A preponderance of evidence also shows that clients of SIFs are more likely to go to detox and quit injection drug use over time. SIFs increase access to lifesaving services and restore some of the humanity and dignity that drug users deserve by offering them a safe place to access medically supervised care and other related services.

“If synthetic opioids are in fact becoming the new norm in terms of distribution and consumption, then drug checking and supervised injection sites ought to become the new public health norms too.” — Rick Lines, Executive Director of Harm Reduction International #HR17.

FSDP embraces enlightened drug policies to empower families, restore health, and save lives..

#FSDPSaysOurFamiliesDeserveSIF’s

 

Special Evening for Families with Dr. Robert Meyers, Developer of CRAFT

FSDP’s latest collaboration with Dr. Bob Meyers, the developer of Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT), and Andrew Tatarsky and his Center for Optimal Living will give attendees a unique opportunity to meet Drs. Meyers and Tatarsky, hear an overview of the CRAFT treatment model and be part of a Q & A to follow.

FAMILY CRAFT

This special evening will be hosted by FSDP Cofounders Carol Katz Beyer and Barry Lessin.

WHEN AND WHERE:

Friday March 10, 2017, 6:30- 8pm.

The Center for Optimal Living, 370 Lexington Ave, Suite 500, NYC 10017

Tickets are still available but space is LIMITED, so SIGN-UP NOW!

For additional information, please email barry@fsdp.org.

CRAFT fosters a different journey toward treatment and recovery for families. It is love-based and empowers families to stay TOGETHER rather than “detaching” or using harsh, punishing methods with loved ones.

Supported by 20 years of peer-reviewed research, CRAFT is a comprehensive behavioral program that teaches families to optimize their impact while avoiding confrontation or detachment. Most programs developed to promote or encourage positive lifestyle changes are not always built upon the level of long-term research and analysis that supports CRAFT as a successful model for engaging substance users toward treatment.

CRAFT methods are evidence-based and provide families with a hopeful, positive, and more effective alternative to addressing substance problems than other intervention programs. CRAFT works to change the loved one’s environment to make a non-substance using lifestyle more rewarding than one focused on using alcohol or other drugs. In the CRAFT model, concerned significant others (CSOs) are the focus of the therapy instead of the substance abuser. Randomized clinical trials have shown CRAFT 3 to 5 time better at engaging resistant substance users than Alanon or the Johnson Institute style.

For more information on CRAFT, click HERE:

WE LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU THERE!

FSDP Introduces International Family Drug Support Day to the US

FSDP extended our global presence by standing in solidarity with our friends and advocates around the world to partner with Australia’s Family Drug Support to introduce the inaugural International Family Drug Support Day (IFSDS) to the US on February 24, 2017!

This year’s theme was  #SeeThePersonNotTheDrug

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Our loved ones are brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers and grandparents, employees, students, athletes, musicians, who also happen to use substances. The reality for many families is that there are limited programs and services available and many policies adversely affect families, all too often under a cloud of stigma and shame.

FSDP community members held events in the Eastern and Southern US as well as in Bawahlpur Pakistan. Event venues and locations were very diverse, hosted and attended by families, drug users present and past, healthcare professionals, students, and treatment centers in FSDP members local communities.

The message focused on the need to view substance use through a human rights and public health lens, rather than as a criminal justice issue, demanding informed and innovative policies and programs that reduce the likelihood of harm for our loved ones. and  access the same best practices as experienced in every other medical and mental health condition.

IFDSD will be held on  on February 24 every year coinciding with the anniversary of the passing of Damien Trimingham, the son of Family Drug Support founder Tony Trimingham’s , founder, from a drug-related overdose. IFDSD will be an annual event to highlight the need for families impacted by substance us to not only be recognized and heard but to be supported and encouraged to speak about their concerns and their needs.

 

FSDP Joins Forces with Global Partners for International Family Drug Support Day

FSDP is proud and excited to be partnering with organizations across the globe for International Family Drug Support Day on February 24, 2017!

FDSDayv2The 1st National Family Drug Support Day was held on February 24, 2016 coinciding with the anniversary of the passing of Damien Trimingham–the son of Tony Trimingham, founder of Australia’s Family Drug Support organization–from a drug-related overdose. National Family Drug Support Day was to be an annual event to highlight the need for families impacted by substance us to not only be recognized and heard but to be supported and encouraged to speak about their concerns and their needs.

In honor of the 20th anniversary of Family Drug Support, founder Tony Trimingham and FSDP Co-founders Barry Lessin and Carol Katz Beyer are joined by our friends and advocates standing in solidarity with Family Drug Support to raise awareness for the voice of the family to be heard around the world to be represented in the inaugural International Family Drug Support Day.

This year’s theme is #SeeThePersonNotTheDrug

The day is an annual event to highlight the need for families to not only be recognized and heard but to be supported and encouraged to speak about their concerns and their needs. The reality for many families is that there are limited programs and services available and many policies adversely affect families, all too often under a cloud of stigma and shame.

The objectives of the International Day are to:

  • Reduce stigma and discrimination for families and drug users
  • Promote family drug support services for families and friends
  • Promote harm reduction strategies for families and friends

In addition, the following issues will be highlighted:

  • The important role of FDS and FSDP volunteers in providing family support across Australia, the United States and the world.
  • Reducing fatal and non­fatal overdoses from drugs including pharmaceuticals.
  • Promoting the widespread availability of naloxone.
  • Promote greater inclusion of family members in the decision making process for families experiencing problematic drug use.
  • Promoting greater support and resources for treatment services.

Here’s what you can do:

  • Give a donation to help with the pamphlets, posters and badges being produced for the Day.
  • Share a photo and a story of 200 words or less of describing your loved one and we will post it on our Family Wall. Your message can be a remembrance of a loved one who has passed, a tribute to a family member’s recovery or a message of encouragement with helpful coping skills to maintain a healthy family relationship. Email us with your photos and stories and any questions you have to          Carol@fsdp.org or Barry@fsdp.org
  • Be an ambassador for change in your neighborhood by raising awareness within your community! Request to meet with your local schools, doctors, political representatives, law enforcement and clergy and we will provide you with a tool kit and promotional materials to support you in your advocacy. Talking points for communicating with the public are here.
  • Write or call your local state and federal legislators. To locate your US representative click here. Talking points for communicating with the legislators are here.
  • Invite friends, family or coworkers to share an informal gathering over food or coffee to share discussion and voice the issues.
  • Promote the Day on social media: #SeeThePersonNotTheDrug.

We welcome and encourage creative possibilities and opportunities to help you promote/plan your special event: town hall meetings, symposiums, themed collaborations with stakeholders and friends…contact us and let’s talk!

Please email us with your plans and ideas:  Carol@fsdp.org or Barry@fsdp.org

We look forward to make this event most memorable–with your help and support our loved ones will be free of shame and stigma and seen for who they are!

#SeeThePersonNotTheDrug