Introducing “FSDP Presents”: A Podcast Brought to You By Our New Partners at The Social Exchange!

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FSPD is excited to announce our partnership with The Social Exchange, a brainchild of the brilliant Zach Rhoads and Aaron Ferguson.

26233524_10103289292747830_6908264666812993265_oThe Social Exchange interviews the world’s leading intellectuals about a variety of social topics: addiction, social science, philosophy, and many more.  Zach is a masterful interviewer and through their podcasts they offer listeners cutting-edge information about each topic.

What’s refreshing and unique is that there is no rule that the conversations are agreeable or comfortable. However, each conversation is guided by an honest, information-seeking style of dialectic. On The Social Exchange, ideas are challenged, people are respected.

As part of the partnership, FSDP will have the opportunity each month to select an FSDP community member to be interviewed on the podcast on a segment called” FSDP Presents”. We’re proud to have Glen Carner, Licensed Mental Health Counselor  from Hawaii as the inaugural podcast guest. Glen has a paradigm-shifting outpatient addiction counseling program, Family and Addiction Counseling LLC  that uses a collaborative harm reduction approach that coordinates care for his clients with relevant community supports whenever possible. As you’ll hear in the podcast, he blends his expertise with unbounding enthusiasm and a passion to work with individuals and families impacted by substance use.

You can hear the podcast here and learn more about Zach’s work with The Social Exchange on their Patreon page here.

NEXT UP ON “FSDP PRESENTS”: Kenneth Anderson, a pioneer of alcohol harm reduction and Founder of the HAMS Network: Harm Reduction, Abstinence, and Moderation Support.

Harm Reduction for Families: Communicating With Love

Adding to our Fall series, welcome to the November 2018 edition of Family Matters – Families Matter, our new blog authored and curated by FSDP’s Guest Blogger–pioneering harm reduction therapist, educator, advocate and author Dee-Dee Stout.

This month, Dee Dee shares her unique perspectives on harm reduction’s influence on family communication

To learn more about how your family can join our growing community of enlightened friends and advocates sign up here now.

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Communication.

This is a huge topic which I can only hope to touch on here. But I hope that I can offer some suggestions, look for some possible answers from you all (families) and see what we know in science now.

For more than fifty years, we professionals have made (still make??) terrible mistakes in our advice about communicating with loved ones who use drugs: DON’T BOTHER! We said things like, “All addicts are liars” and “They must hit bottom” and “You need to use tough love with addicts”. We called you all names: codependent, enabler, co-addict/alcoholic. Now don’t misread me here: we’re discussing a family which is a system.

To use the favored metaphor from famed American educator and author, John Bradshaw[1], “families are like mobiles: touch one side of a mobile and the entire piece shifts.” This means all family members must participate in changing in order for change(s) to actually happen. Bradshaw, [2] (who also coined the terms “dysfunctional family” and “inner child”, and some believe ushered in the self-help movement of the 1980’s) used to call the problem a “dis-EASE” with the world. I think that is still one of the best definitions of addiction we have. And it speaks to the trauma that all too often accompanies addiction/drug use. More on that in the future.

So, what does communication in a harm reduction world look like? Here’s an example from Patt Denning and Jeannie Little’s book, Over the Influence[3]:

“You can love your child and kick her out of the house. You can kick her out of the house and pay her rent somewhere else. In these ways you can continue to love and support her and limit the damage she can do to your marriage, your house, and your other kids. In other words, you can make changes in your relationship with your loved one way before you are completely worn out. In fact you should.”

A second example is from the Center for Motivation and Change’s (CMC) booklet, “The Parent’s 20 Minute Guide”[4] (they use the term “parent” to mean any caregiver). In the section titled “Helping with Understanding”, CMC makes the point that the behaviors your child is engaged in (i.e., using drugs) make sense and we parents need to appreciate that relationship that our loved ones have with substances even as we struggle to understand it. Wow, huh? This can be a tough request but here’s why it’s crucial to Communicating with Love:

“Feeling relaxed, exhilarated, less anxious, braver, funnier, and part of the group, are all potential benefits of using substances. If there were no benefits, there would be no use.” (emphasis mine)

This is enormously important for families to understand. Without this acknowledgement, little communication with love can happen. We need to remember that our loved ones’ actions have more to do with their personal reasons for using (the reinforcers) than us. This knowledge can help us to not take our loved ones’ actions so personally and to start to see the reasons for the substance use: loneliness, boredom, social/fitting in, anxiety, trauma, and more. The CMC 20 Minute Guide goes on to say,

“Understanding what your child gets from using can also lower your fear and anxiety, as it makes the behavior less random and more predictable. If he uses to fit in with other kids, then you know he’s more at risk when he’s out socializing than home with the family.”[5]

With this information in hand, strategies can be launched with your loved one and everyone can be invited to brainstorm options when your loved one is faced with potentially triggering social situations.

The Guide also has worksheets, such as the one titled, “Behaviors Make Sense”[6] which is designed for the parents to complete based on their understanding of their loved ones’ reasons for using drugs. I would suggest that these worksheets might be even more effective if completed with your loved one. That way you’re not left guessing about the relationship your loved one has with substances. It also allows for further exploratory conversations to better understand your loved ones substance use (it’s also possible that your loved one isn’t sure of all the reasons they use drugs; this openness to conversation could allow them time to consider why they use a substance(s)).

Denning and Little also provide some excellent guiding concepts for families to use, calling them “Harm Reduction Principles for Family and Friends:”[7]

  1. Promises only cause problems
  2. There are no rules except the ones you make
  3. You cannot enable drug use (unless you are supplying them)
  4. Base your actions on your values
  5. Base your actions on what you can manage
  6. You have triggers too
  7. Any limits you set are about you

I would add a couple of others:

8) Everyone’s doing the best they can so be kind/gentle with yourselves – and with your loved one (it may seem like your loved one cares more for drugs than for you right now but I doubt that’s really true)

9) You probably can’t solve this problem, but you can make it better or worse

10) For change to be successful for your loved one, you must also change

So perhaps now you’re thinking, “OK Dee-Dee, this is all great but is there some research to tell us how to communicate with love?” Yes there is!

CRAFT. Community Reinforcement Approach and Family Training[8], developed by Robert Meyers, PhD (Research Associate Professor Emeritus in Psychology at the University of New Mexico’s Center on Alcoholism, Substance Abuse and Addiction) is an answer. Bob Meyers (full disclosure: I have been trained by Dr. Meyers in CRAFT) came to the field of addiction through his own family’s problems with substance use. He became convinced that there could be a better way to interact with loved ones using substances and focused his research on finding some answers to this lifelong idea. Taking Dr. Nathan Azrin’s Community Reinforcement Approach (CRA) and combining it with his own brand of Family Training, Dr. Meyers developed CRAFT, now an evidence-based therapy.

CRAFT is unique in addiction counseling in many ways. One of the most important, in my opinion, is its focus on “catching people who use drugs doing something ‘right’”. In other words, instead of the main focus being on punishment for misbehavior, CRAFT encourages us to focus on the times when your loved one isn’t engaging in the ‘misbehavior.’ It also supports the idea that drug use (especially problem drug use) doesn’t happen in a vacuum: it happens within a system and all parts of the system must change.

Too often the drug user is seen as the Identified Patient (or Problem aka the IP) and taken off to treatment to make changes which we’re often led to believe will solve all the family problems. However, if the system she is in doesn’t also make changes, how do we expect her changes to be maintained? This is what’s called “magical thinking” (which has sadly been perpetuated too often in my profession); it’s also a set up for failure. All too often treatment does fail[9] too regardless of how much she wants to make a change(s).

Down under, Tony Trimingham, founder of Family Drug Support (FDS Australia), shares some similar ideas in his “Letter to Family and Friends.”:

“When we expect immediate changes and refuse to be with the person during the process we undermine the very goal we seek to accomplish.” [10]

I want to stop here for a moment to reflect on things that I’m suggesting families can do differently – I want to emphasize that I am NOT pointing these things out in order to lay blame. Never. Are there things we could’ve/should’ve done differently as families with loved ones who love drugs? Absolutely. Does that mean we are to blame/responsible for the drug use? Not likely. But we are part of the overall system – and therefore we must be willing to look at our part in the creation of that system of dis-ease we are all in squarely in the face.

After all, isn’t that what we ask people who use drugs to do in treatment? What I’m saying is that when there’s a complicated, possibly chronic condition in the family, it affects everyone, therefore, the solution(s) has to involve everyone. Gratefully we now have more options & suggestions for families than the old “let them hit bottom” and “stop enabling/being codependent.” We can now say, “don’t stop loving your family member!” and “when our loved ones are ill we need to hold them closer.” Learning how and when to “hold them closer” so change can be possible is the challenge. One way of helping us may be to learn more about change in general. How does it happen? How can we help or hinder change? Is it ever successful?image004

We’ve learned a great deal about how people make change(s) in their lives. The researchers James Prochaska, Carlo DiClemente, and John Norcross discovered how change happens back in the late 1970’s which they called the Transtheoretical Model (TTM) or Stages of Change for short.[11] We’ve learned that instead of looking at abstinence as the best or only way to recover or change, incremental positive change may be the best route: “Any positive change” is the slogan the late harm reductionist, Chicago Recovery Alliance founder Dan Bigg[12] who has used this slogan to describe how to view the small steps typically needed to move toward change.

Harm reduction for families at its core is about providing support to help families make decisions that fit their individuality: their values, their needs, their loved ones. It’s about helping families to see that abstinence is one possible outcome but doesn’t need to be the only one – nor is it always the best option for everyone.

For many people, the best way to make change is to go mindfully and slowly, small step by small step, moving closer and closer – with some setbacks – toward the big change you plan to make. Think of how many people quit smoking (side note: The Stages of Change were discovered when the developers/researchers looked at some 1500 smokers). Usually smokers quit on their own, either with or without the help of aids as nicotine replacement (Nicorette gum, inhalers, lozenges; anti-craving medications). Others just stop, cold turkey. But most professionals now will suggest – for those not wanting that “cold turkey” method – a “warm turkey”[13] approach is a good option especially for those who have a difficult achieving their goals with “cold turkey” methods.

The same can be true for abstinence or moderation goals in drug/alcohol use. Families can now Google terms such as “harm reduction for families” and find options that may be more in line with their values/goals and those of our loved ones using drugs. With cannabis legal in more and more states every day, many of us have found that we are looking to this substance to prove helpful in treating addictions (we already know about its usefulness – alone or in conjunction with cannabidiol CBD[14] – in treating anxiety, pain, depression and more for many people). Most families I work with now are more than delighted to have their former problematic drug-using loved one find relief and assistance in some form of cannabis.

Harm reduction for families at its core is about providing support to help families make decisions that fit their individuality: their values, their needs, their loved ones. It’s about helping families to see that abstinence is one possible outcome but doesn’t need to be the only one – nor is it always the best option for everyone. And by the way, one can definitely not be abstinent (defined as not taking any medication/drug) and still be “in recovery.[15]” More and more families are coming to see harm reduction as a better fit for them than the old “hit bottom/throw them out” model as they see the harm that is caused to them and their loved ones by such traditional, zero tolerance policies.

Families have also had enough of the old ways of thinking from my profession – the misinformation/scare tactics, the lack of nuance in treating them and their loved ones who use drugs, the one-size-fits-all approach – even the beloved American disease model of addiction has been challenged by many of the families I see![16] Family work in addictions is at a crossroads: in my opinion, it is the outcry from families that will be the reason new harm reduction policies will be adopted. It is your voices that are the loudest, strongest, and which will be best received since frankly, families are seen as victims of addiction unlike “addicts” (I’m not suggesting this view is accurate or not, simply that it is a reality in our culture). Bottom line: once again it’s about LOVE. LOVE which is the center of positive and healthy communication – and something we can all improve on demonstrating within our families this minute.

So grab one of these books – or perhaps you know of another one that fits your needs best – and start reading and practicing. It’s time for our Family Recovery movement. We must demand better, more from the professionals and other healthcare practitioners. And we must learn to improve our own communication with love.[17]image008

(Note: all photos are from unsplash.com)

Don’t miss next month’s edition:  “Holy Holidays, Batman!!  12 Tips for Enjoying the Holidays in Spite of Everything.”  

 

REFERENCES

[1] www.johnbradshaw.com.

[2] Ibid. Accessed on 9.26.18.

[3] Denning, P & Little, J. (2017). Over the Influence, 2nd Edition. Guilford Press. NY:NY. p221.

[4]https://the20minuteguide.com/. Accessed on 9.26.18. p11-12.

[5] Ibid

[6] Ibid. p13-14.

[7] Denning, P & Little, J. (2017). Over the Influence, 2nd Edition. Guilford Press. NY:NY. p221.

[8] www.robertjmeyersphd.com. Accessed on 9.26.18.

[9] Statistics for success re: professional treatment is difficult. 30% is the highest publicized rate yet this number generally reflects only those who completed treatment, not who improved longterm. AA’s rates are about 5%.

[10] https://www.fds.org.au/newsletters/letter-to-family-and-friends (accessed 10.22.2018)

[11] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transtheoretical_model (accessed 10.22.2018)

[12] Chicago Recovery Alliance (CRA): www.anypositivechange.org

[13] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1787547

[14] https://www.projectcbd.org/about/what-cbd. Accessed on 10.25.2018.

[15] https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-11_aamembersMedDrug.pdf

[16] See works by Marc Lewis, Maia Szalavitz, Stanton Peele, Jeff Foote, Denning & Little, Andrew Tatarsky, to name a few professionals in the field who do not ascribe to the traditional disease concept of addiction. Dr. Marc Lewis is a neuroscientist, researcher and former drug addict who has authored several books on this subject: http://www.memoirsofanaddictedbrain.com/authors-bio/

[17] Another book I suggest & use with families: William Miller’s (Motivational Interviewing) 2018 book titled, “Listening Well: The Art of Empathic Understanding.” It’s available at Amazon and beyond.

 

September is Recovery Month: Reinventing Recovery

 

Welcome to the September 2018 edition of Family Matters – Families Matter, our new blog authored and curated by FSDP’s Guest Blogger–pioneering harm reduction therapist, educator, advocate and author Dee-Dee Stout. To learn more about how your family can join our growing community of enlightened friends and advocates sign up here now.

In the first of a series of our Fall 2018 blogs, since September is Recovery Month for SAMHSA, this seemed the perfect time to write about the word, or concept of, “recovery” specifically as it’s typically applied in substance use disorder (or “addiction”) treatment.

September is also the traditional “back to school” month and many of us have kids who are returning to school or perhaps young adults transitioning to college. This is a good time to to review constructive ways to talk to our kids about alcohol and other drugs, and also to take a new look at treatment, drug policy, binge drinking. and how to negotiate the holidays  Therefore, for the remainder of 2018, our blogs will take a look at those topics and more. See you next month! #recoverywithoutabstinence #stopthestigma #familiesmatter

And now our 2018 “Recovery Month” edition:

Reinventing Recovery

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Photo by Toa Heftiba from unsplash.com

Usually when we hear (or often use) the term “recovery”, it has a very specific meaning: nearly always 12-Step oriented, abstinence-only based, and says to us this is a disease you’ll have forever. I want to definitively make the case for a new kind of recovery in the world of addiction(s): an “inclusive v exclusive” recovery that does not require the elements we’re used to – including abstinence – but whose definition can certainly contain it …and so much more. 

Recovery. It’s a truly loaded word (pun intended). Let’s go on a bit of a journey to see how and from where our concept(s) of recovery stems as it’s a word that comes with a lot of baggage, both positive and less than positive.

According to etymonline.com, the origin/first use of the word “recovery” comes in the mid-14th century and meant “return to health.” “Recovery” originates from the Anglo-French word “recoverie” meaning “remedy or cure.” The additional meaning of an “act of righting oneself after a blunder, mishap, etc.” is from the 1520’s. Could this also be at the root of the word having such moral implications?

In his July 2014 article for Psychology Today, well-known addiction expert, author and former Harvard Medical School professor, psychiatrist Dr. Lance Dodes discusses some of the problems we have with the word “recovery.”[1] In part, he sees the word as acceptable in the context of “recovering from a medical illness”, meaning that 1) relapse/lapse is normal, and that 2) one is headed toward a cure or an ending of the condition/illness. Quoting from the article, Dr. Dodes says, “In most of life, ‘being in recovery’ means a person is making progress even though s/he isn’t ‘cured.’” This is far different than how we too often hear the word used in addiction treatment circles or our greater culture. In both places, “recovery” typically means that one is abstinent and attending a 12-Step group – “working the program” to use the language of AA for example. This is meant to establish an “us vs. them” quality: you’re either attending meetings, working the Steps, and have a sponsor so you’re “in recovery” or you’re not and therefore you’re not in recovery. Black or white; right or wrong. Plus, the implication is that anything short of a 12-Step traditional recovery means you’re not doing recovery “right.” A lot of people – including many professionals – believe this is what the word means and ONLY what it means. I, too, believed this for a long time.

DD begin cup
photo by Danielle MacInnes for unsplash.com

I went to residential treatment here in Oakland, CA, in the late 1980’s. These were the “salad days” for residential treatment, coming on the heels of First Lady Betty Ford openly discussing her addiction to alcohol and pain medications.[2] No one of her stature had ever talked about their alcohol and other drug problems in the US and her “coming out” can’t be understated; it was also a huge step in reducing the stigma/shame for others to seek help for their substance misuse/problems. Finally, this event was also partly responsible for opening the doors of treatment to become the Big Business it is today (more on that in another piece).

In treatment, we were taught that addiction is a 3-fold disease: bio-psycho-social (some also added “spiritual”). It was like a, sleeping tiger, always waiting to pounce on you unless you were constantly vigilant in your recovery (meaning abstinence, attending meetings regularly, and “working a good program.”). We were taught phrases such as, “Your mind is like a dangerous neighborhood: don’t go in it alone” and “Avoid old people, places and things to stay sober.” In other words, 1) don’t trust your own thinking because you’re an addict/alcoholic and “your best thinking got you here”, 2) you’re never fully recovered, and 3) you must cut off all your old friends as they were only using friends and therefore not interested in your well-being; your relationships were only based on drug use. I remember someone saying that everything I had done up to the point of my entering treatment/recovery didn’t count – but now my life could really begin: “Today is the first day of the rest of your life”[3] was up on a wall somewhere. Scary stuff. And I was scared straight.

In what’s known in 12-Step circles as the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous 3rd edition), there are several references to the word “recovery” and “recovering” (somewhere around 15) but also references (about 10) to the word “recovered” which is akin to blasphemy today in most 12-Step circles.[4] This is another point of contention for many of us. Can we ever say we’re “recovered” or even “cured?” I say, “yes we can,” to borrow a phrase. And that we should. Why? Because to those outside of traditional treatment/recovery, I hear folks constantly say, “Apparently treatment doesn’t work because you people are never recovered!” I had never thought of the phrase “recovering” as potentially responsible for this perception. I personally say that after over 30 years of continuous abstinence, I am completely comfortable declaring that I’m “recovered;” the problems I have today have nothing to do with illicit drug and/or alcohol use (sometimes that would be simpler, frankly). The first paragraph in Chapter 2 of the 3rd edition of the Big Book titled, “There is a Solution,” also appears to see an end state to addiction. It states: “We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, (italics theirs) know thousands of men and women who were once just as hopeless as Bill. Nearly all have recovered (emphasis mine). They have solved the drink problem.”[5] This passage certainly seems to imply that one can indeed recover. But then what exactly does it mean to recover? And how do we achieve this state of being?

Mindfulness + Connectedness + Inner Growth

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Photo by Austin Chan for unsplash.com

 

A Phrase is Born. While working for the large American HMO Kaiser in the 1990’s, I was charged with developing and leading a relapse prevention track for patients in our Chemical Dependency Recovery Program (CDRP). These were folks for whom the course of treatment we offered (intensive outpatient program or IOP) didn’t work – or, as we phrased things back then, patients who didn’t try hard enough, were in denial of their “disease,” or simply relapsed back into drug/alcohol use due to inattention to “people, place, and things.” During one of our evening groups we were working on a definition for “recovery” and decided to see what we could come up ourselves. After all, we surmised, how can one relapse if you don’t have a clear idea of recovery?

Mindfulness, connectedness, and inner growth was the phrase we all agreed described the basic ingredients for recovery. It wasn’t until later that someone noticed we neglected to include anything about abstinence/sobriety, 12-Step attendance, or the other usual things we associate(d) with recovery. I remember that night well because a gigantic light bulb didn’t just light up, it blew up in my head! This was the moment I began to wrap my head around the idea that perhaps alcohol and other drug use itself – and abstinence specifically – really had nothing to do with one’s healing or recovery; recovery wasn’t in fact begun with stopping drug use first (which is what we always told folks). What was at the core of the concept of true recovery of one’s life we decided were these 3 elements defined here – which may or may not include an end to one’s drug use:

Mindfulness: paying attention – to what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you’re putting in your mouth/arm/throat/etc., really everything that’s happening as well as you humanly can, plain and simple.

Connectedness: this means getting reacquainted with yourself, a vertical connection, we called it – your body, your mind, your spirit – and fully trusting them. This also spoke to the idea that your mind is connected to your body (yes, no matter what Descartes[6] said, they’re attached; it’s called a neck!). This vertical connection could also be to a higher power or great spirit of some kind. Connectedness includes a horizontal connection, too, or connection with others.[7]

Inner growth: this was a bit more difficult to flesh out at the time but we settled on it meaning whatever an individual does that leads to their seeking out new information and new ideas, being a part of the world at large. This could be going to school, walking in the park, dating, making new friends, a yoga practice, meditation, attending synagogue/mosque/church/temple/circle, or even reading. Or anything else that “feeds” a human’s curiosity and need for knowledge.

And that was it. Drug use, abstinence, continued using or something in between, wasn’t mentioned. Why? Because we realized that in any other bio-psycho-social illness (which nearly all are), one did not have to recover perfectly. In fact, in my definition humans cannot do this – at least not all the time. And we realized that it wasn’t the alcohol or other drugs that were at the core of the problems we had: they were but a symptom. [8]

Therefore, one could indeed be in recovery and use drugs. Not problematically because then you’re not connected or mindful or growing. But we agreed (again to our collective surprise) that yes, one could be using alcohol or other drugs – having a healthy relationship with them – and be mindful, connected, and growing internally: in recovery. And we also agreed that for some folks, to have these 3 elements in their lives could require abstinence: total, partial, forever or for a while, we made no comment on those notions. That would remain up to the individual (which also fits within AA/12-Step guidelines of no one being able to tell another that they are an “alcoholic or addict.”). In fact, we realized that having healthy relationships of all kinds could be achieved through these three elements. What a jolt to the brain this was to us all!

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Photo by Ron Smith for unsplash.com

YOU GOTTA GIVE THEM HOPE”, Harvey Milk[9]

These days, I have come to realize that it appears these elements or ingredients of recovery also build on one another: for example, you first need to improve or have some mindfulness about what you’re doing before you can truly connect with others and yourself, and that action can lead to growing internally. And again, we made the argument then which I’ll repeat here, drugs and drug use (including alcohol of course) don’t necessarily impede one’s ability to recover or regain health from having problems with them – or being “addicted.” The problem is in one’s relationship with substances or behaviors that have become problematic or compulsive, and that we continue to engage in despite negative consequences – what we call “addiction.” So here’s the Big Question: what if we as a collective culture decided to work on these 3 ingredients and the issues that get in one’s way of achieving them? What if we decided to help those in need to uncover why they – or collectively, why so many of us in the wealthiest nation in the galaxy – need to use substances in order to cope? Hmmm…

It’s time to reinvent the word recovery to mean this: “I have recovered my life and my health. with or without abstinence. I am mindful, connected, and growing.” Now that’s real recovery!

One of the ways to address these issues of the lack of mindfulness, connectedness, and inner growth is with what the Canadian author, physician, and addiction expert Dr. Gabor Mate calls “compassionate inquiry.”[10] Dr. Mate makes the case for needing people in our lives who can/will listen deeply, compassionately to those of us involved in using substances/behaviors that are causing pain in our lives. Another advocate of doing things differently in treatment is Stanton Peele, PhD, JD. In his newest book on addiction, Recover! Stop Thinking Like an Addict and Reclaim Your Life with The Perfect Program,[11] Dr. Peele discusses these issues at length, as he has for over 50 years. As an early adopter of harm reduction principles, he has tried to get us all – but especially we Americans – to see that the way we have come to view addiction is all wrong: 1) it’s not a disease, 2) most people quit on their own (so how can it be a disease), and 3) not all people are susceptible to becoming addicted. In fact, by viewing addiction as a disease, our society has actually increased the possibility of relapse[12]. It reminds me a bit of Charlton Heston’s famous line at the end of the film, The Planet of the Apes, when he realizes where he really is – back on Earth: “You finally really did it. You maniacs! …God damn you. God damn you all!” In looking for the reasons for addiction, we have to consider that perhaps, unintentionally, we have done much of the damage ourselves with our racist policies, unscientific treatments/interventions, and blaming of the people who use drugs (and often their families as well). It sure is easier to blame a drug(s). It’s much harder to look within, compassionately and deeply, for the reasons so many of us are in pain (of all kinds) and need relief to cope with living.

I see September’s Recovery Month as a great time to take a look at what we’ve done with addiction treatment and recovery. And to take a hard look in the Mirror of Truth about our society and its complicity in addiction(s). It’s time to stop the unscientifically-tested treatment of this “medical-and-more” complicated condition. It’s time to demand professionals who are highly trained and compassionate – always. It’s time to radically change how we view people with substance problems – and their loved ones – regardless of whether you believe this is a condition of their making or not.

It’s time to reinvent the word recovery to mean this: “I have recovered my life and my health. with or without abstinence. I am mindful, connected, and growing.” Now that’s real recovery!

DON’T MISS NEXT MONTH’s EDITION: 

COMMUNICATING WITH LOVE ABOUT DRUGS WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE. 

[1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-heart-addiction/201407/what-does-it-mean-be-in-recovery

[2] A Johnson Institute-style intervention was held in 1978 for Mrs. Ford leading her to seek treatment for her substance use. In 1982, she founded The Betty Ford Center which is now part of the Hazelden family of programs.

[3] As discussed in our last piece on “tough love,” the originator of this phrase is the founder of Synanon, Chuck Dederich.

[4] “A Reference Guide to the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous” by Stewart C.; (1986). Recovery Press, Seattle, WA.

[5] p17. Note: The “Bill” that is referenced here refers to the co-founder of AA, Bill Wilson.

[6] Rene Descartes was a 16th c. French philosophermathematician, and scientist; dubbed the father of modern Western philosophy who famously argued that the human body and mind were separate. Wikipedia.com

[7] Remember that church I mentioned in my first blog, the United Church of Christ or UCC? There we were taught that God was within each person and living thing on Earth and that we were all connected. Very Deepak Chopra. Hmmm…

[8] Interestingly enough, a similar idea can be found in AA’s Big Book on p85, in this line: “What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.” And I was taught that “spiritual” merely meant connected.

[9] Quote from slain San Francisco Supervisor Harvey Milk, one of the country’s first openly gay politicians. This is from a tape recording (1977-11-18) to be played in the event of his assassination, quoted in Randy Shilts book, The Mayor of Castro Street: The Life and Times of Harvey Milk. (1982), p. 277. Wikipedia.com; personal communications.

[10] From Dr. Mate’s website, drgabormate.com: “Through Compassionate Inquiry, the client can recognize the unconscious dynamics that run their lives and how to liberate themselves from them.”

[11] For more information, view the results of the NESARC study and more, discussed in Dr. Peele’s book, p36-42. (2014), Da Capo Press.

[12] Miller et al; “What predicts relapse? Prospective testing of antecedent models.” https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1360-0443.91.12s1.7.x